weight of the world
by keke wonder
Summary: renesmee cullen had everything she wanted.money.friends. a soulmate/bestfriend.jacob black to be exact. but what happens when she meets the wolfpack including collin areceli for the first time? will her world improve or come crashing down? future lemons!
1. Chapter 1

*chapter 1*

okie dokie people this is the story i was talking about! but ive decided to just put all 3 stories together. they were all sequels anyways. but yeah the were to short to be individual. they were origanally all called: weight of the world, my last breath, all that im living for, and im working on the 4th sequel called :before the dawn so yeah enjoy and rate! oh and they will all leave interrupting a sentence to keep you wanting more! lol.

i had known jacob black all of my life. i am now 17 years old, well technically im seven but i have the mind and body of a 17 year old. jacob has been there for me ever since i was little. i do have the tiniest bit of feelings towards him but im not going to act on it until they get stronger. i know all about how he is a wolf and stuff, but i had never met the wolf pack because jacob said he wanted to wait till i was older. so i get to meet them today! oh and i know all about imprinting. i thought it was cute, but i really dont think i want jake like that.

"are you sure you want to go meet them? we can wait." said jacob. i rolled my eyes.

"yes, and there is nothing you can do to change my mind." i smacked his butt and he jumped. i laughed.

"you know its very innapropriate to touch me like that." i smiled.

"oh but i own you jakey your my bitch remember?" he looked shocked.

"w-what did you just call me?" i laughed again and walked up to him.

"you,my bestfriend are my fucking little bitch" he still looked shocked. i tooked advantage of that and pulled him outside to the car. "are you driving jake?" he nodded and got in the whole way there i was practically jumping up and down in my seat. jacob kept laughing and telling me to calm down. FINALLY we were at the beach and i saw a whole bunch of people sitting around a campfire. i squealed in delight and jumped out of the car. i waited for jacob and when he got to me i took his hand and walked towards the beach. when we got close enough i could tell, they were HOT. are all wolves sexy? when we reached them, jacob cleared his throat. everyone turned to looked at they noticed me with wide eyes. i earned a chorus of 'damns'. i giggled and jacob introduced me.

"you guys this is renesmee but she likes to be called nessie. nessie thats paul,jared,sam,embry,quil,leah,seth,collin and brady." he said pointing each one of them out. i smiled brightly.

"whats up bitches?" their eyes got bigger but then laughed. i saw a really good looking guy,seth i think sitting on the other side of the fire. i bit my lip. hmm i could have fun with this one. i walked over to him and plopped down on his lap straddling him and put my arms around his neck. i heard the other guys gasp. seth just stared at me surprised. "whats up baby?" he still just stared at me.

"umm h-hey" he stammered. i giggled and leaned my face closer to his.

"you know your real sexy right? i would love to do some things to you" he gasped and the others roared with laughter. one of them growled but i didnt bother to turn around.

"w-what would y-you do?" i moved to his ear.

"first id undress you. then let you undress me. i would take you up to the room and kiss you with so much passion you'll drown in it." he shuddered and the rest of the wolfs were quiet." i would lay you down on my bed, and kiss all down your body and stopping to stare amazed at your manhood" he smiled proudly. "then id say "damn your that small?" all the wolves burst out laughing again except for collin. he was fine to but looked really young. i had to remember to talk to him later. seth looked sad now as all the wolfs were still laughing. "oh hun dont worry i was just foolin with you i know you dont dissapoint." i leaned forward and kissed him full on the lips i heard several whoops and whistles. and then that growl again that was really irritating me now. i pulled away from seth with a smile on my face and he looked mesmerized. i kissed him once more on the lips and got up to see jake garing at seth.

"whats your deal jacob?" i asked. he turned to me with a softer expression.

"you know what my deal is nessie." i sighed.

"jacob im sorry but i just dont think of you in that way right now. give it some time." he sighed and nodded. someone from the the house yelled.

"hey guys the foods ready!" all the guys including me got up and started walking to the house. embry pulled me to a stop.

" where's my kiss?" he asked with a cocky smile. i rolled my eyes.

"up your ass now get away from me fuckface" everyone around us started to laugh leah came over and put her hand on my shoulder.

"i like you nessie" i smiled. i looked back and realized collin was still sitting by the fire playing with something by his side. something about him really seemed to attract me.

"umm actually im not that hungry but you can go on with out me leah." she turned to face me.

"you sure?" i smiled and nodded. she walked off to the house where the others were eating. i jogged back over to the fire and sat down next to collin he looked up and smiled shyly.

"hi" he said quietly.

"hey collin" we were both silent for a minute.

"y-your really pretty nessie" i giggled and blushed. wait why was i blushing?

"why thank you, and your just sexy yourself" i meant it too. he blushed and looked away. "so how old are you collin?" he looked up shyly again.

"ill be turning 14 this saturday."

"wow thats great. are you going to throw a party?" he nodded. "well im hurt i didnt get my invitation." he smiled widely and it was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. jesus what was going on with me?

"y-you would actually w-want to come to my p-party?" he said nervously. i giggled.

"collin you dont have to be nervous around me. and yes i would love to come to your party why wouldnt i?" the smile was instantly wiped off of his face.

"b-because...nobody really likes me..." i felt sad. how could anyone not like him?

"who doesnt like you?" he sighed and looked down.

"people from my school...their always picking on me and calling me... a freak." he looked like he wanted to cry. i couldnt stand it. i pulled him into my arms and rested his head on my chest. he was hesitant and shocked but after a while when i didnt pull him away he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"i dont know how they wouldnt like you. ive only known you a day and i absolutly love you. what school do you go to?"

"quilete middle school." he said very quiet i take it as he was still shy around me. i had an idea.

"how about i drive you to and from school?" he pulled away but avoided my eyes.

"i couldnt ask you to do that nessie" i hugged him back to me. i liked comforting him. this time he wasnt as hesitant to wrap his arms around my waist.

"no, i want to so i will. just give me your address and ill pick you up tommorrow ok?" he nodded into my chest."

"thank you nessie." i smiled.

"no problem i still want that invitation." he chuckled a bit. it was like music. i smiled wider. we stayed like that for a few more minutes. then someone wolf whistled. collin pulled himself from me quickly then blushed.

"damn how does the 14 year old get action and i dont?" said embry. the rest of the guy sat down.

"embry shut the hell up, he was upset and by himself so i thought i would comfort him." he scoffed.

"sure thats what it is." he muttered.

"its more than what you'll ever get. still humping your pillow _dog?_" there ws a mixture of 'ohhhs' and laughter. embry flipped me off. i blew a kiss a him. we all talked for the rest of the night. i would occasionaly glance at collin, who would be fiddling with his fingers or playing with something on the ground. when it was time to go i hugged everyone and told them it was nice meeting them.i gave seth another kiss then laughed at his expression. i went to collin and noticed i was a good 3 or 4 inches taller than him. oh well he'll grow. i got the address to his house and what time school starts. i hugged him. when we pulled away i waved to everyone and got into the car with jake.

"that was fun. they all make me feel homey. but i might have to kill embry" jake laughed.

"yeah i might have to help with that murder." we both laughed.

"so whats with collin? why is he so shy?" jake sighed.

"im not trying to be rude but he just doesnt fit in he is the youngest and nobody pays attention to him that much. and plus he's been beat up and picked on all his life so he is just keep to himself. afraid of the world." i froze he never told me people hit him. i felt so bad for him. i just wanted to hold him and never let go.

"are you guys going to come to his birthday party?" i asked.

"of course we wouldnt miss it for the world. i think it will make him really happy." i smiled.

"yeah it would." we drove the rest of the way to my house in silence. once we got there i got out and jake didnt move. i frowned.

"arent you coming in to spend the night with me?."

"oh you wanted me to? i couldnt tell." i sighed.

"jacob stop with all the childish shit ok? i love you. as my friend. but yes i do have feelings for you. but i told you to wait awhile so i can see where those feelings go. and besides i like to flirt so you really need to stop trippin on the fact that i might be with other people" he thought for a minute, then smiled and got out the car. he took my hand. i smiled and reached up to kiss him like i had seth earlier. after we parted he looked like he just saw heaven. i laughed.

"we can do some of that though" he beamed at me.

"come on nessie lets get you in the house before your parents blow something up." we walked into the cottage and were approached by my parents.

"jacob you were suppose to have her home 30 minutes ago! where were you?" jacob just rolled his eyes.

"edward calm down it was only 30 minutes we both wanted to stay alittle longer. but we're here now arent we?" daddy glared at jake then headed upstairs.

"when i say 12:00 i mean it jacob."

"sure sure goodnight eddie!" daddy growled at him and i laughed. i dragged jake upstairs to my room and he sat on the bed and waited for me to change. i came out the bathroom and set my alarm clock for 6. collin had to be at school by 8.

"why are you setting your alarm clock ness?" jake asked confused.

"oh because im driving collin to school from now on. to make him feel better."

"thats nice. kid had to walk almost 6 miles to and from school" i gaped at him.

"why didnt anyone give him a ride?" i felt jacob shrug.

"nobody has the time to." jeez well somebody could of made time. my poor baby. i mean not my baby. oh gosh. do i like collin? i shook that thought from my head. he is way to young.

"oh well ok good night jakey." i gave him a quick peck on the lips and almost instantly went to sleep. i dreamt of collin and jake. oh and of me kicking embry's cocky ass. i woke up to the sound of an irritating ring. ugh my alarm clock. i flailed my arm over to my table and hit the off button. i groaned and slowly got up. jacob was still fast asleep. kissed him on the nose and got in the shower. after i showered i wrapped myself up in my robe and did my whole morning routine. i came out of the bathroom and checked the time 6:45. ok running out of time. i picked out a simple outfit. well simple enough to still get approved by alice. i put on a long sleeve lace printed cartigan with some plain black leggings i went to do my hair combing it through and gently curling the ends. i looked at the clock again 7:03. ok well i can grab some cereal then leave. i ran down the stairs and saw my parents sitting on the couch.

"hey where are you off to this early?" asked my mom while i was eating.

"im going to be driving collin to and from school from now on. he was being picked on by some boys and i was not having it." mom smiled at me.

"thats really thoughtful renesemee, take what ever car you want." i checked the time 7:12. time for me to go. i took one more scoop of cereal then got up.

"ok bye mom bye dad! love yall!" i said as i sprinted out the door. i opened the garage and took the keys to the ferrari. i jumped in, started the car backed out then raced down the road. i made it to la push in record time. i followed the address collin gave me and pulled into a cute light green house. i honked the horn twice. i saw collin peak out the window and his face lit up. i waved to him and he waved back then put up his finger telling me to wait. soon enough he came strolling out of the house.

when he got in he smiled shyly up at me. i smiled back and took his school bag and stuffed it in the back seat. i pulled out of the drive way and started off on the way to school.

"good morning collin." he smiled shyly again.

"good morning you look nice today." he said quietly. i smiled and blushed again. damn i gotta stop doing that.

"thank you." we drove the rest of the way to school in silence. when i pulled into the parking lot the clock read 7:38. i have time to talk to him. "hey collin before you go can i ask you a question?" he looked skeptical but nodded his head. "why are you so nervous around me?" he played with his fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

*chapter 2*

"i-its not just you. i-i mean with everything thats happened to me, i j-just kinda stopped trusting people. l-like today i didnt actually t-think you would come get me." the poor baby was studdering so much. he must have been through alot.

"collin listen to me. im so sorry you dont trust people anymore but you can trust me ok? i care about you and i dont want you to ever feel uncomfortable with me." reached in my pocket and took out a peice of paper. then i found a pen in the car and wrote down my number and handed it to him."if anything ever happens and not just today, and you need me to come up to the school or where ever you are call me." i got his bag out the back seat and got out of the car. he followed. i went to him and put it on his back. then i embraced him in a hug. "now i want you to go in there and strout down the hall way and not give a damn about what they say about you" he chuckled nervously.

"ok nessie and i-i trust you. ill call you if i need something." i smiled and kissed his head then pulled away.

"good. now have a great day at school ok?" he smiled more confident then he ever had and nodded. my smile got wider. he started walking towards the school he turned around and waved to me i waved back and waited until he was out of site to get back in the car. i drove off back to the house thinking about about what i could do for the rest of the day. i guess me and jacob could go catch a movie. when i got to the house i double parked and walked in to the cottage.

"hey mom is jacob up?" she shook her head. jeez this guy could sleep. "umm ok well can we go out until i have to go pick collin up later on? like to the mall or the movies?"

"sure honey. me and your father are going to visit grandpa charlie so call us if you need anything." i smiled and went to kiss her cheek.

"thank you mom, tell grandpa i had said hi"

"will do" with that i ran upstairs and into my room. i laid down next to jake. he always looked so peaceful when he sleep.

"wake up jakey." no response. "wakey wakey jakey" i said shaking his arm. still no response. finally i placed my lips on his while shaking his arms. his lips were so warm and soft. without notice his lips started moving with mine. i smiled into the kiss and he did the same. then we parted.

"that was one hell of a wake up call." i giggled and gave him another peck.

"what am i here for? but anyways get your butt up we're going to port angelos!" he groaned and got out of bed stretching. damn look at that sexy bod.

"do we have to?" he whined.

"oh shut it, we're not shopping we're going to the movies" he sighed in relief.

"awesome. so are you ready?" i went over to grab his hand.

"wait arent you hungry?" he shrugged.

"ill get something at the theater." i nodded and this time when we walked downstairs mom wasnt there. i grabbed the keys the ferrari and tossed them to jacob. we got in the car and headed to port angelos. compared to jacobs driving i was a speed demon! i mean he went over the speed (we all do!) but he drove way slower that me, so by time time we got to the theater it was 9:00. we stood in line and bought our tickets for 3 movies. a vampire one, a scary one, and a comedy. after that we went to the consession stand and bought popcorn and stuff. we were seated right when the movie started.

through out the movie me and jake would just laugh at the parts they got wrong.

"did they really think we burn in the sun?" i asked jacob as we moved to the next movie. he just laughed.

"just like they think we only phase on a full moon." we both laughed. the scary movie was not scary at all. due to a better seeing we could tell all the props and stuff were fake so we just got a good laugh out of it. now the last movie we went to the comedy, was hilarious! i was still laughing as we walked out the theater. i took out my cell phone and froze were i was.

"HOLY FUCK!" i yelled and got a whole lot of attention. jacob put his hands on my shoulders.

"renesmee are you ok?" i shook my head.

"no we have to go now! collins school lets out in 30 minutes!" jacobs eyes got wide and we ran out to the car."toss me the keys i drive faster!" he did and we were out of there in a matter of seconds. no matter how fast i went we were going to be at least 15 minutes late. the whole ride there i was hoping he would still trust me. i dont know what i would do if he didnt. like i said we got there 15 minutes late and when i parked i saw him sitting on the front stairs looking sad. i felt so guilty. "stay here jake." i got out of the car and made my way over to him

"collin!" i yelled. when he saw me he looked relieved but still sad. i ran the rest of the way and embraced him in my arms he hesitated in hugging me back but he did,very slowly. "oh gosh i am so sorry i was late i lost track of time. do you still trust me?" he stayed quiet for a minute. i was on the verge of tears. what the hell?

"im not mad at y-you nessie i just had a bad day. and yes i-i still trust you." i sighed in relief and released him. we got up and i ran my fingers through his hair. but there was something sticky in it. i walked behind him and saw that it was gum. i tried to pull as much as i could out with out hurting him.

"did they do this to you?" he nodded. i was furious. "i will kick everyone of their asses collin how dare they do this to you!" he just hung his head down. they had absoultly no right to make this little boys life a living hell. "dont worry about a thing collin but i have to ask, why dont you fight back you are a werewolf after all." he sighed

"b-because the guys said if i did i would get to angry and phase. and plus im just a c-coward. i wasnt meant to be a wolf so why me?" he looked like he wanted to cry again. i cradled him close to my heart.

"dont call yourself names collin. you have been through alot and you are emotionally damaged. and thats perfectly fine, i understand. and you are a wonderful person thats why your a wolf. to bring peace to the world and to the pack. anyone who doesnt like you is a damn fool because you are the mixture of a perfect man! sweet ,sensitive, thoughtful, and sexy. who could ask for more?" he chuckled. i smiled. i pulled away so i could look him in the eyes "and dont ever doubt yourself sweetie, people are only mean to you because they are jealous. hell id be jealous of you. but you know, im just finer than you so..." he laughed a full on laugh and it was the most beautiful sound i had ever heard. i beamed at him.

"thank you renesmee, i r-really needed that." he said now really shy. i kissed the top of his head.

"no problem hun thats what im here for." we walked over and got into the car and i drove him home. the rest of the week went exactly like that. and i was really getting to know collin alittle more. i was happy when he came out of his shell to me. dont get me wrong he is still really shy around me but he can finally talk to me without studdering. come thursday when i was dropping him off at school something felt off. like i knew something was gonna happen.

"nessie are you ok?" i looked at him and smiled.

"yeah im fine sweetie have a good day at school today." i kissed his forhead before he got out of the car. i drove home and laid on my bed for a couple of hours and that weird feeling just wouldnt go away so i had to go down to the school and see what it was i looked at the . i would have a couple of hours to just sit down there with him. i walked downstairs and left a note for my parents they were out hunting.

"_mom and dad, something felt off when i dropped collin off at school today going to see what it is,but dont worry im sure its not a threat. love nessie" _with that i got in the car an drove up to the school. when i got there i went straight up to the front office.

"hello miss what can i do for you today?" a lady behind the desk asked.

"can i have the room number for what class collin areceli is in?"

"may i ask why and who you are?" i mentally rolled my eyes .nosey ass.

"im his eldest step sister vanessa. and im here to sit in his class and observe his behavoir." she nodded her head and searched up something on her computer.

"his class is room 308." i smiled politely. and then left out the office. i was walking down the hall looking for his class when i heard people chanting fight. i followed the noise and found out it was ms. landons room. oh hell no they better not be messing with my baby. i mean collin. i walked in and went straight to the teacher, who was trying to silence her students. i told her that i was here for collin and that i had a plan to get them to stop picking on him. she just smiled and told me to go ahead. i pushed one guy out of the way that was shouting in his face. but collin just had his face buried in his arms.

"collin,baby its me" he looked up and when i saw all the hate and sadness in them it broke my heart.

"nessie what are you d-doing here?" the other kids had already quieted down.

"i came to see if you were alright." i said rubbing his back.

"i-im fine" one of the guys that were yelling at collin spoke up.

"what is a girl like you doing with a freak like him?" time to start my plan. i turned to collin.

"you didnt tell them about us collin?" he looked confused but i shot him a look that said play along."i knew you wanted to break up with me. baby please dont leave me ill change i promise."

"y-you dont need to d-do that nessie." he said playing along but nervously. i acted as if my world had been reborn.

"really? you'll take me back?" he nodded his head hesitantly. i threw my arms around him. "yay thank you!" then i kissed him. just a small peck, but enough to collect alot of gasps. when i pulled away from collin he looked surprised and his cheeks flushed a pink so he looked down. i got up and stood in the boys face that was been picking on collin. i gave him my best vampire look and he stepped back.

"and if you ever mess with my collin again your ass is mine you got that?" he gulped and nodded. i smiled and sat on the floor next to collin the rest of the day. after we went to his locker we walked out to the car. once we were settled in and i pulled out he spoke shyly.

"you didnt have t-to do w-what you did for m-me today nessie." i smiled at him.

"i know but i wanted to i couldnt stand to see you upset like that. you dont deserve it." he smiled shyly.

"thank you though, a-and that was m-my first k-kiss you know." i gaped at him.

"really? i wouldve thought that all the girls would be chasing after you." he looked away.

"no. they make f-fun of me to." i was getting furious all over again.

"what do they say to you?" he sighed a shaky sigh. and i pulled into his house.

"w-well they always say im u-ugly, cant dress, and s-something similar to what y-you said to seth a-at the bonfire"ouch. that has gotta be a low blow to his ego. i sighed. why the hell do they tease him? and plus i had just broke down his shell alittle and he was actually happier!

"when did people start teasing you hun?" i said rubbing his back.

"about 4th grade. i-ive always been weird. i n-never really had f-friends back then because i was always so shy. b-but now its different because i have no choice on whether to have friends of not. a-another thing is that my parents were h-having problems when i first started m-middle school and they would b-beat me. so i was also just jumpy. that was t-the first time they called me a freak" i stayed silent soaking this all up. it wasnt his fault he was shy. and it wasnt his fault the got beat by his parents and was scared that someone would hurt him.

"is that why you keep to yourself alot? are you afraid to let people in your life because your afraid that they'll hurt you in the end?" he nodded his head and kept his eyes on the floor. i let him i didnt want to hurt him anymore so i continued to rub his back soothingly. "baby, sometimes... you gotta let people hurt you thats just the way of life." i heard him sigh again.

"nessie, you life has always been perfect. y-you never had to w-worry about being picked on. one b-because youve n-never been to school.a-and two your not a l-low life like i am..."

"NO!" i yelled and he jumped. oh no i scared him! crap! "oh baby im sorry i yelled but i dont ever want you to call yourself a lowlife. you may be alot of things, good and bad. but a low life is not one of them. i want you to stop listening to what other people have to say about you. especially those little girls whores you are no doubt very handsome and have the most beautiful soul even if it is damaged. but if you let some people in it can begin to heal. and sweetie dont worry about style cause you got it all. and as for your manhood... you might be to much to handle for anygirl." he blushed and tried to hide his face.

"i-ive already let y-you in nessie and the wolf pack. i-im not ready to let a-anyone else just yet" i smiled and hugged him. i just love hugging him. but he always hesitates to hug me back. like right now. but i dont mind. i've got to let him heal at his own pace.

"im honored you've let me in and allow me to help you heal i really am but i have 2 things to say. one we've been sitting in my car for an hour." he pulled away from me.

"oh im sorry." i giggled and put my hand on his arm.

"its ok collin oh and the second thing is, we sound like an oprah episode" he laughed his musical laugh and i couldnt help but join in.

"i guess i should get inside now and thank you for actually listening to me." i smiled widely. i got him to talk with out studdering!

"hey im here for ya babe."he chuckled.

"bye renesmee, tell jake i said hi." i laughed. of course he knew i would be going to see him.

"ok and ill see you tommorrow and bright and early on saturday." he smiled. then got out and headed to his door. i waited until he got in the house then i drove off. i started to think about jake. im his imprint and i love him, but my feelings dont seem to be moving past friends with benifits. with collin its a different thing. ive known for about 5 days but i feel like i love him more than a friend already. everything i say to him is the utter truth. i feel like crying for him sometime because of the way they treat him. with jake, it feels like i cant live without he or collin were to leave... i wouldnt make it. like my mom couldnt live without my dad when he left.

i pulled up to my house and parked the car in the garage putting the keys back on the hook and walking into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

*chapter 3*

my mom dad and jake sitting on the couch. jacob immediatly got up an ran over to me. he hugged me tight. i was confused. when he pulled away i looked him in the eyes.

"jakey? whats wrong?"

"where have you been? we were worried about you" i sighed.

"i was at collins school. didnt you guys get my note?" daddy nodded.

"yes but didnt their school let out at like 3?"

"yes daddy but me and collin had to talk. he had a really bad day at school" i replayed the whole thing for him in my head. he jumped up

"thats horrible! oh and nice move by the way." i giggled.

"why thank you" mom and jake both looked confused. i motioned with my hands for them to stand next to each other so i could show them both at the same time. i pressed a hand to each of their cheeks and replayed the whole thing for them. mom gasped.

"that is terrible! ah poor collin... and your father is right that was a good move. i might use it someday." i laughed.

"you kissed him?" jacob asked. i stared at him like he was out of his mind.

"what? that poor baby just got cursed out yelled at and gum stuck in his hair, and your worried about whether or not i kissed him? you really need to get your foot outta your mouth jacob. i mean how dare you? he's in the pack for pete's sake!" he shrugged and held his hand up in defeat.

"i was just curious, and like i said nobody really likes him. im not going to call him weird because we all are, but the dude is like some sort of freak" that word infuriated me to no end. i pounced on jacob throwing him into the wall his face was a mask of pain and shock. i held him by the throat.

"dont you EVER call him or anyone else a freak especially him understood mutt?" i heard my parents trying hold their laughter. "i swear if i had venom i would sink my teeth into you. you make me sick." i let go of his throat. "now i dont want to see your face in my house EVER AGAIN! so get the fuck out!"

"renesmee please-"

"NOW YOU LOWLIFE!" he sighed and walked out of the front door i took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. i turned to my parents.

"im sorry for my language." they finally burst out laughing.

"love that was by far the funniest thing ive seen in all my life." daddy said to my mom. i rolled my eyes and went upstairs to my room. i was exasuasted. once i was changed i went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. i was woke up up by the same annoying alarm clock. i reluctantly got out of bed did my morning routine got dressed, said bye to my parents then headed out to la push. when i was outside his house i beeped my horn twice and he came outside and got in the car.

"mornin hun." i said smiling. he looked at me nervously.

"g-goodmorning nessie." i frowned as i pulled out the driveway. wait i felt that same weird feeling i felt yesterday. maybe i was just paranoid.

"whats wrong collin?"

"i-im just nervous about going back to s-school after yesterday." i smiled again.

"remember what i told you they're just jealous of you. ignore what smart ass things they say to you ok?" he nodded, and we were silent the rest of the drive. when i pulled into the school lot i heard him take a deep breath. i leaned over and kissed his head. "have a great day." he smiled at me and then got out the car walking very slowly into the school. i sighed. poor baby. as soon as he was in the building i headed back to the cottage. once i got there i set my alarm for 10:30am. i could use a quick nap. too soon i heard the alarm go off i groaned and got up. i grabbed my ipod,its speakers and my phone and headed downstairs to get something to eat. i plugged the speakers ito the wall and sat my ipod in it. i browsed through the songs until i found the one i wanted. tik tok by ke$ha. i turned it up just the right volume and was dancing around the kitchen and cooking at the same time. then half way through the song my phone rang. i turned off the music and answered.

"hellloooo?" i said dragging out the word. i heard sniffing.

"renesmee?" asked a cracked familiar voice.

"yeah who is this?" i could now make out little sobs.

"n-nessie its collin please come get me from school please!" i could literally feel my heart being stabbed. some body made him cry.

"hun are you alright?" i asked now taking the food off the stove so it wouldnt burn while i was gone. i heard more sobs.

"no im not just please come get me please i cant stay here!" he sounded so hurt.

"ok ok try to calm down babe im on my way." he sniffled.

"ok im in the front office" he said before he hung up i wrote my parents another note and ran out to my car and dashed down to la push. it was a miracle i never got caught. i pulled into the school parking lot with a screech, parked, got out the car and sprinted into the building. when i got to the main office collin was in one of the chairs, knees clutched to his chest and sobbing his eyes out.

" oh hun..." when he heard me he looked up and i gasped. he had a huge bruise on his head and a couple scratches on his lips and cheeks. im sure those will heal in a few due to the super healing, but the bruise,that may be there for a while. to my surprise he jumped up and threw his arms around my waist. i was stunned for a minute but then wrapped my arms around him holding him close to me. without disconnecting i walked us out into the hallway. i slid down the wall sitting down and he did the same sitting next to me. once again i just held him close to my heart stroking his hair and whispering comforting things while he just sobbed his heart out. i kinda wanted to cry to seeing him like this but i knew i had to stay strong. i began rocking us side to side.

"its ok collin its ok. stop crying. do you want to tell me what happened?" he nodded but kept sobbing, i waited patiently for him."take your time you dont need to answer me right now." after awhile he calmed down and looked at me with blood shot eyes.

"i-i was on my way to 4th period w-which is down here b-but my other classes a-are up stairs. so as i-i got closer to t-the stairwell i could h-hear the guys calling my n-name but i i-ignorned them, then all o-of a sudden i was being p-pushed down the stairs." those little fucking bastards. "i-i hit my head on the metal railing and when i f-finally reached the bottom they s-started kicking me. a t-teacher showed up and broke i-it up and thats w-when i called you." i hugged him tighter.

"thats terrible. i am so sorry sweetie if there was anything i could do to make it better i would." he sighed.

"t-thank you for b-being here." i scoffed.

"please i would be here if i just got my leg amputated." he chuckled. "come on lets get out of here ill take you home early."

"w-wait no can we g-go somewhere e-else?" i looked at him confused.

"why? you dont want to go home?" some fresh tears rolled down his face so i hugged him back to me."im sorry sweetie you dont have to tell me." he shook his head.

"i-its just the w-whenever i have t-these moments the g-guys tease me about i-it. why does e-everyone hate me?" my heart is aching.

"the wolfs tease you? who? i swear ill kick all their asses. and everyone doesnt hate you. i dont. i-i love you."

"y-you love me? w-why would you love a-a freak like m-me? look at me. i-im crying over s-some people teasing me. i-im 14 i shouldnt b-be out here." he pulled away from me and looked down. i sighed.

"look at me collin." he looked up at me shyly. "for one you are absoulutly not a freak so you can get that outta of your head right now. you have every right to cry. look at what you've been through. i think you deserve a few crying spree's every now and then,i still cry and im technically 16 or 17" i put my hand under his chin."and you are my bestfriend, i love you for who you are and i dont ever want you to change."

"i-im your bestfriend?" he asked trying to look away but i didnt loosen my hold on him.

"yes you are. you wanna know how much? well i strangled jacob. threatened to bite him and told him to get the fuck out of my house" collin laughed and i smiled widely. it makes me so happy to hear him laugh and be happy.

"w-why did you d-do that?"

"he called you a freak. i dont like anyone talking about you or any of the people love like that." he sighed.

"f-figures he would call me a freak." i had an urge to just kiss him so i did. it was just a peck on the lips but hey it was awesome. he looked surprised when i pulled away. i smiled at him when he blushed.

"i kiss all of my bestfriends i hope you dont mind. and your not a freak so stop putting your self down. your a wonderful young man, and when people finally see what i see in you, then screw `em for taking so long." he chuckled and hesitantly reached over and hugged me.

"thank you so much for everything you've done for me." yes! no studdering! i giggled.

"like i said thats what im here for." just then the bell rung. "i guess i should get you home now" he nodded and we both got up and walked to the car. when we drove off he spoke to me quietly.

"uh r-renesmee?" i turned to look at him briefly to tell him i was listening then looked back at the road." some of t-the guys wanted t-to stay the night at my h-house. so if y-you want to stay you c-could bring your o-overnight stuff."

"hey dont be afraid to ask me. i would love to stay the night." we pulled into his house and i kissed his head."bye collin see you tommorrow." he waved as got out and walked up to his door. as soon as he was in the house i started driving home. i thought about what happened to collin and the look on his face while he was crying. i felt like crying right now. i needed jacob. but no he called my bestfriend a freak, i couldnt give into him like that. when i got home i saw daddy oon the couch snuggled up to mom watching tv. they looked up and smiled.

"hey nessie." my dad said, i smiled sadly at him. his face turned concerned.

"whats wrong honey?" i sighed and thought about todays incident. my dad set my mom on the couch then got up. his face was a mixture of sadness and pure anger.

"renesmee, that is absoulutly and utterly terrible is he ok now?" i nodded.

"yeah daddy he is, but umm im just going to go to bed because i want to go hunting before the party. oh and im going to stay the night at his house with some of the guys is that ok?" he nodded so i went upstairs to my room to pack and set my alarm. if the party is at 1 then ill need-

"AHHH!" i screamed when i saw jacob sitting on my bed. i heard dad snicker downstairs. very funny. "why the hell are you in my room i dont want to see you." i walked in my closet and got an over night bag.

"renesmee let me talk to you please." i sighed as i went into my bathroom and grabbed my tooth brush and other personals. then i went out to my makeup desk and grabbed every thing i would need and left the stuff i would be using tommorrow. i made sure to pack my flavored lip gloss. i plan on kissing alot of wolfs. i giggled to myself. before i picked out any clothes i turned to jacob.

"talk" he stood up and walked over to me but i took a step back. his face became pained and i felt bad but didnt let my guard down.

"im sorry about is not a freak i just said that because im jealous. he is actually a really good kid. but still im sorry for being inconsiderate of him." i sighed and sat down on my bed with my head in my hands. jacob sat down next to me and i leaned against his side as he put an arm around me.

"jacob, well one your apology is accepted. and two just dont talk down to him the little boy has been through hell and high water. oh god you shouldve seen him today it was awful." i put my hand to his cheek and showed him what happened. his eyes widened when i pulled my hand away.

"damn, i knew people picked on him but i didnt know it was that extreme." i finally broke down and started crying. jacob pulled me on his lap and craddled me.

"j-jake he doesnt deserve to be treated like he is. and then he's stuck, frozen at the age of thirteen, a constant reminder telling him every day that nobody ever liked him. gosh he's so sweet and quiet how could those people actually hate him that much?"

"shh calm down ness. thats just the way people are. they think he is weak and vunreable so they bother him. he's a wolf anyways so they cant really hurt him physically."

"who gives a fuck!" i yelled at jacob, then closed my eyes trying to calm down. "jacob if i was worried about him being physically hurt i wouldve took those dudes out along time ago. i mean dont get me wrong of course i care about him being hit, but im talking about emotionally. this boy is emotionally afraid of the world. he is so sad and shy at times that i just wanna cry! he is being ripped apart from the in side and out. you wanna know why? because his parents use to hit him people at school tease him non stop, he got pushed down a stairwell and got the last little bit of confidence was kicked out of him! you wanna know what he told me? he said that he let his guard down for me you and the wolf pack. thats it. everyone else lost his trust. and that comment you made yesterday was the end of me letting him be hurt by the people he trusted." gosh i felt so much better letting that out.

"oh crap i never thought about it like that nessie im so sorry. gosh im a jackass." i looked up and captured his lips with mine. when i pulled away he smiled at me.

"yes you are a jack ass. but your _my_ jackass." we both laughed. i pecked him on the lips once more before i got up and went to my closet. i figured i would tease the boys. i got out some silk short shorts and a silk tank top. i stuck that in my bag. then i grabbed a pink fluff shirt and a dark wash mini skirt for sunday. then for the party i hung up my grey tomb raider dress. i went to my pantie drawer and picked out a couple of those. and lastly i stuck my ipod and its speakers in there. i went and set my alarm clock for 10am then crawled into bed where jacob was already.


	4. Chapter 4

*chapter 4*

"good night nessie." i kissed his nose.

"night jakey." i went to sleep hoping tommorrow would be fun. for collin of course. my alarm went off an i jump out of bed excited. i kissed jake until he woke up. i saw his eyes flutter then his mouth moved with mine. i seperated.

"morning jakey!" he chuckled as i went to the closet to get dressed. i just put aon a sweat suit for now since i was going hunting.

"a bit hyper this morning ness?" i jumped on his lap.

"of course silly its collin 14th birthday!" he chuckled again. "do you want to go hunting with me?"

"sure nessie come on."

"ok hold on let me tell mom and dad." i walked down the hallway to their bedroom door. it was locked so i knocked on the door. "you guys im going hunting with jake! we'll be back in a few." i waited for a response.

"yeah ok hunting with jake ha- oh god right there edward!" ewwww! they dont even have the decency to stop having sex! i ran back to jake laughing.

"whats so funny?" he asked as we ran out into the woods

"when i told my parents we were leaving my mom was in the middle of an orgasm." jacob shuddered and i laughed.

"ok i did not need to know that." i laughed. jacob went behind a tree and when he came out he was that big red and brown wolf i loved. i smelled something. a bear, perfect. i ran off in its direction and i could hear jacob behind me. when i saw the bear i jumped on it and snapped its neck. i sunked my teeth in it and let the warmth flood my mouth. after i was done i let jake eat the meat. when we were done with that we headed back to the house. he stopped to phase behind a tree and i told him ill be in the shower up stairs. the warm water felt good against my skin. once i was done i dried of and wrapped myself in my robe. to my surprise jake had on some dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt on.

"you brought clothes?" i asked as i went into my closet to get my clothes.

"you kinda need them for a sleep over ness" i rolled my eyes as i was getting dressed. i put my robe back on over the dress. i didnt want make up to get on it. i looked at the tim 11:50.

"shit i dont even have time to put my make up on." i sighed and took the robe off. i looked in the mirror and primped my self. i saw jake staring at me out the corner of the mirror i turned to look at him.

"what? you think i need the make up?" i asked self conscious. he shook his head.

"n-no you look beautiful." i smiled and went over and pecked his lips.

" come on jake we dont want to be late." i took his hand and he grabbed a bag from under my bed. i guess it was his over night bag. i grabbed my presents off of the night stand and picked up my bag. we walked out the door and stuffed our bags in the trunk then we got in the car and drove off.

"what did you you get collin for his birthday jake?" i said breaking the silence. he sighed.

"crap i forgot to get one." i giggled.

"how the hell do you forget to get a birthday present? you can have part of mine. i brought him a wii you can give him the games." jacob gaped at me. "what?"

"uh nothing i just forget your rich sometimes. oh and thanks for letting me use half your gift." i patted his arm. and giggled. we rode the rest of the way in silence. when i pulled up to the house it was about 1:30. i looked in the car mirror and applied my 'special lip gloss'.

"hey jake?"

"yeah?"

"can you taste this and tell me if its good or not?" he looked at me confused.

"taste what-" i kissed him.

"lick your lips." he did as he was told.

"what is that?

its really sweet. and good." i smiled.

"its my vanilla lip gloss." i got out the car and jacob followed me. i went aound to the trunk. jake grabbed the bags and i grabbed the present. we walked up to the door and i heard commotion i knew we were the last ones to arrive. i knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. a lady came to the door and smiled.

"hi im collins mom mary please come in." she moved out the way so we could come in.

"hi im renesmee, nice to meet you." i held out my hand but she embraced me in a hug. i was surprised. i patted her back.

"oh collin has told me so much about you! thank you for helping him. he has a hard time making friends." i smiled when she finally let go of me. "ok well im going to get going."

" your not staying for cake or when he opens his presents?" i was confused. she is his mother.

"oh no, me and collin had a mini party earlier, plus he just wants to get rid of me." we both shared a small laugh. "well there are some pizzas on the way and the moneys on the counter so ill see you guys tommorrow."

"ok it was nice meeting you" shee smiled then left out the door. jake came up beside me.

"well she was nice." he said, i giggled.

"yeah she was, come on lets go." we walked around the house to the livingroom where we saw everyone talking and laughing. even collin. i smiled widely at that. "whats up bitches?" i said and everyone turned to look at us. collin had a big smile on his face. i got another chorus of 'damns'. i laughed. "gosh yall act like youve never seen a good looking chick before."

"not one like you.." i heard quil mutter. i laughed again. jacob set down our stuff by everyone else's and talked with the guys. i skipped over to collin and put my presents beside him then grabbed him in a hug.

"happy birthday!" i exclaimed and he chuckled. i realeased him.

"you came." he said.

"well i said i would didnt i?" we shared a small laugh. i spotted seth across the room. "ill be right back collin." i got up and skipped over to seth."sethy!" i exclaimed as i plopped down on his lap. he looked surprised again . i captured his lips getting a whole lot more whistles and whooping. and no growling. good jacob. i pulled away and smiled at him. "did you miss me?" i heard him gulp, and i fought back a laugh.

"uhh yeah?" he said like a question. i laughed when i did i kissed his nose.

"arent you just adorable." i hopped off his lap and went back over to collin who was now talking to brady. they both turned to me, i sat in between them."hey whats up brady?"

"hey nessie whats up?" he said kinda timidly. him and collin were the same age. so cute.

"ahh nothing much. i was forced outta my will to come here" i put my arm around collin who blushed alittle. "you see brady, collin here said if i didnt come he would beat me with a paddle." every one who heard started laughing lightly. even collin.

"id like to beat that ass!" embry yelled. jacob punched him in the arm. "OW! what the hell jacob?" jacob just glared at him. embry seem to realize something because he looked at jake with apologetic eyes. just then the door bell rung. i jumped up.

"i got it!" i ran to the kitchen got the money then opened the door. "hiya." i said. he looked at me up and down then smiled.

"hey i got 13 large pepperoni pizzas?" i gaped. these guys could eat. i handed the guy the money and grabbed the pizzas. " do you wanna go out some time?" i started to walk away but i yelled back at him.

"nope but you can close the door!" i heard him sigh then close the door. i giggled a bit. "hey guys the pizzas here!" they all came flooding into the kitchen. i took out some plates."enjoy." i said as they dug in. i walked out the kitchen and back to the living room. i opened my bag and took out my ipod and speakers. i looked around for a power cord and found one by the fireplace. i plugged it in and started my ipod keeping the music low. i flopped down on one of chairs and waited for the boys to finish after a minute or to someone came into the living room with me i opened my eyes to see it was collin i smiled at him.

"hey" he smiled back shyly at me then hesitantly sat down next to me.

"you arent eating?" he asked quietly. i shook my head.

"naw im not hungry. are you done eating? you done have to sit in here with me."

"yeah im stuffed. and i dont mind sitting in here with you." i blushed. jeez.

"so your mom tells me you talk about me alot." now he blushed and fiddled with his fingers.

"um y-yeah i tell h-her how much youve h-helped me." damn i made him nervous. i put my hand on his back.

"im sorry i didnt mean to make you uncomfortable." he chuckled nervously.

"no its o-ok." we just sat there and after a while all the boys came flooding in.

"hey do yall have room for cake?" i asked.

"yeah!" they all yelled. i laughed and got up and walked in the kitchen with everyone following me. i told collin to cut the first piece.

"come on do we have to do it traditionally? why cant we just cut the shit and get it over with?" said paul. i laughed.

"its not my party. but do you want me to just cut your cake collin?" he nodded his head. i walked over and began to cut and plate each piece of cake. me and collin just put ours in the refridgerater. he doesnt even want to open his presents until after we .after everyone ate we went back into the living room, and talked for a couple of hours. then when i checked the time it was 9:00 already.

"ill be back you guys i gotta go change." they all nodded i grabbed my bag and went upstairs. i looked in the first room. it was collins. i stepped inside. the walls were a dark blue with posters everywhere. a twin sized bed and a computer and desk in the far corner. nothing special, but very nice. i figured i would change in here. i closeed the door and started to get undressed. i took out my short shorts and squeeze those on. then i got the matching top and put it on. i put my other clothes back in the bag and walked back downstairs. i sat the guys had changed and set up blankets everywhere. i walked in and recieve alot of stares. they were about to open theirs mouths to say something but i put my hand up.

"dont you dare say damn" they all chuckled i found jacob and plopped down in his lap. "who wants to play truth or dare?" and thats what we did,and it was hilarious! first i had to get a lap dance from embry. and then i dared brady to go to the neighbors house and ask for some . i think the old lady almost had a heart attack! after that we all just watched movies until we fell asleep. i was the first one to wake up the next day. it was about 8. i groaned and quietly got up from my spot. went upstairs brushed my teeth, got dressed, then came back downstairs. i went into the kitchen and looked through the fridge and found a carton of eggs, some bacon and biscuit. i went through the cabnets and found a 2 skillets, a huge bowl and a cookie sheet. i took the bacon out of the packages and started putting them on the now warm skillet. then i started breaking the eggs. just as i got done whisking the eggs and flipping the bacon. i heard somebody walking around. i saw collin coming this way rubbing his eyes sleepily.

''mornin hun." he blinked a couple of times then grinned.

"good morning." he said his voice heavy with sleep. "do you need help with anything."

"nope you can go ahead and sit down " he did so and i poured half the eggs in another skillet. ''actually collin could you start putting biscuits on this cookie sheet?" he nodded and took the biscuits and started laying them out. i looked in the cabnets and got a whole lot of plates and another huge serving bowl i took the half of the eggs that were ready and put them in the bowl, and putting the rest in the skillet. then i took the bacon off the pan and put it in a plate. collin then put the biscuits in the oven while i finished the eggs. once they were done i put them in the bowl then went to start washing the dishes.

"y-you dont have to do that nessie i-ill clean them later." i turned to looked at him

"are you sure? how about i stick them in the dishwasher.?" he nodded his haed an i did just that. then i went to go sit next to him. "so how'd you like your birthday" he smiled.

"it was the best time ive had in along time. i really needed it. thank you for coming." i smiled and hugged him and kissed his head.

"no problem hun" just then the oven went off. "could you go wake everybody up?" he nodded and then left the kitchen. i took the biscuits out of the oven and as i was buttering them and plating them i heard a yelp of pain. i dropped my knife and ran into the livingroom. i saw collin on the floor shaking in fear and clutching his cheek, and jacob toppling over him shaking in anger while everyone was either staring in awe or amusement.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?" i yelled rushing over to collin. he wrapped his arms around me as soon as i was on the ground next to him. i could hear his hitch in his breathing which only meant he was on the verge of tears. i kissed his forehead then turned back to jacob. "WELL?" i yelled again. jacob looked at me apologetically.

"ness, it was an accident. he wouldnt leave me alone!" i scoffed.

"a fucking accident. so what he was irritating you, and you stopped jerking off enough so your hand could accidentally swing and hit him in the face?" i could hear the guys struggling with keeping their laughter in.

"renesmee that was not nessecary i-"


	5. Chapter 5

*chapter 5*

"NO SHUT THE HELL UP! HE WAS JUST TRYING TO WAKE YOU UP! HE WOKE THE OTHERS UP AND THEY DIDNT PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! GOSH I WAS RIGHT, YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING SICK!" i yelled frightning everyone even collin got scared of my tone because he gripped me alittle tighter. i kissed his head again. "sorry to scare you." i turned to the the other wolves, and spoke in a softer tone. " there is food in the kitchen you all can go help yourselves." they all nodded but came to see if collin was ok first. he simply nodded into my chest, and they disapeared into the kitchen. jacob walked up to us and touched collins back. he flinched back and took in a sharp inhale. i held him tighter. "get the hell away from him! you can eat breakfast and find some other way to get home. i mean it this time when i say i never want to see you again!" his face looked past pained but i was to furious to care. he got up and went into the kitchen. i turned my attention back to collin. i tried to pull him away alittle so i could see the damage jacob did to his jaw but he just gripped me tighter.

"p-please dont let m-me go." i began to rock us side to side.

"ok shh i wont let go i promise. your ok." i thought that i should sing for him. i thought of my favorite artist. evanescence. i began to sing softly.

Under your spell again  
I can't say no to you  
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand  
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly  
now I can't let go of this dream  
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough  
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence  
I can't say no to you  
and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind  
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely  
now I can't let go of this dream  
can't believe that I feel

Good enough  
I feel good enough  
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good

and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall  
pour real life down on me  
cause I can't hold on to anything this good  
enough  
am I good enough  
for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me  
cause I can't say no 

he looked up at me. i wiped away a few stray tears. then i turned his head to look at his jaw. ok good no bruise like his head which was almost gone by the way. i touched his cheek, and he winced. i hugged him back to me.

"y-you have a really b-beautiful voice n-nessie." i smiled.

"thank you sweetie." he sighed.

"r-renesmee your m-my only friend l-left in the world. y-you have to p-promise not to l-leave me. i-i-i love y-you." he said unsure. my heart warmed at those words and i started crying.

"your my bestfriend to so dont you ever leave ME. and i love you too collin." we sat there for awhile with me just crying happy and sad tears. he pulled away from me.

"w-we need to get o-our own show.l-look at us." we both shared a laugh.

"yeah i guess your right we are such drama queens." he chuckled. "do you want something to eat." he shook his head. "ok well i want you to lay down and get some more sleep" i layed him down on the couch and kissed his cheek. i walked into the kitchen ignoring jacobs stares and hopped on quils lap. i sighed and rested my head in the crook of his neck. he rubbed my back.

"you ok nessie?" he asked. i shrugged.

" ive had better days you know?" he nodded and let me sit in his lap while he ate. when he got ready to leave i gave him and all of the wolves a hug goodbye except they left i went back out to the livingroom where collin was now asleep. i smiled and sat down on the floor next to him and started running my hands through his hair. i dont know long i stayed doing that but when i looked at a clock it read 1:30. i should probaly head out. i got up from my spot and started looking around for paper and a pen. i walked into the kitchen and looked in the drawers. i found a notepad and pencil, i wrote him a note. _collin, im sorry im there when you woke up but i had to get going. ill see you tommorrow so i can drive you to , nessie. _i left the note on the counter,found my keys and kissed collin on the head once more then left.

i just kinda drove around for like 5 hours. literally. when i finally got home my parents werent downstairs so i went straight to my room reset my alarm and went straight to sleep. i woke up to the sound of my alarm i turned it off but when i did there was a slight pain in my stomach. i tried to ignore it as i did my morning routine and got dressed. but when i got in the car and headed to collins it got slightly worse. i pulled up to his house and honked the horn then put my head down on the steering wheel. when he got in i lifted my head and smiled at him.

"morning hun" i said as i pulled out and speed off to the school.

"good morning nessie. are you feeling ok? you look kinda sick."

"im fine sweetie just a stomach ache" he was silent the rest of the way. when i pulled into the school i carefully turned in my seat and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "have a great day at school" he looked at me worried.

"are you sure your ok nessie?" i smiled and nodded. "ok then ill see you later."

"bye collin." after i dropped him off i went straight home and spent the day in bed until i had to go get collin. and it turns out he punched the guy who was teasing him in the face. i was so proud!tuesday was the same. except the pain got worse. by wednsday morning i couldnt even get out of bed. my mom was standing next to me.

"mom i have to get up and take him to school! he needs me!" i yelled clutching my stomach. the pain was so strong today."no renesmee your dad will go get him we are taking you to go see charlisle and figure out whats wrong." i whined but i knew i wouldnt win this arguement. i made sure that daddy told collin i was so sorry and that i would pick him up first thing tommorrow. for the rest of the i was being poked and prodded. at one point in the day i got a sharp pain in my stomach like i had just got stabbed, so i screamed. i was in charlisle's office for basically the whole day. he even took a blood test.

"renesmee there doesnt seem to be anything wrong with you." i whined.

"then we do i feel so terrible?" he shrugged.

"i have no clue i can give you some medication to see if that works, if you like." i nodded.

"yeah that would be great, grandpa." he left the room. after i took the medicine my phone rang. "helllloooo?" i heard police cars in the background.

"renesmee?"

"oh hey daddy did you pick up collin from school?" he sighed

"not exactly. i think i know why you've been having stomach pains." i sighed in relief.

"thank goodness, i thought i was going to have it forever! whats wrong with me?" he was silent for a minute.

"renesmee... collins been shot." i froze and dropped my phone. then everything faded to black. no! how the fuck could he be shot! if it was those little boys i swear ill go kill all their asses for killing my baby!

"nessie he's not dead. he is in critical care with charlisle now. with his super healing he will be fine soon enough." i heard my dads voice say. i slowly opened my eyes and once i realized i was in my bedroom i shot out of the bed. i was embraced by several vampires.

"oh gosh im so glad your ok nessie!" my aunt alice said.

"yes me too! dont you ever faint for a mutt again though!"said aunt rosalie i pulled away and punched her square in the mouth. everyone gasped and she looked surprised. i hovered over her.

''dont you EVER call him a mutt! im sick of you and your fucking stereotypes! get it through your thick skull that collin,jacob and the wolves are in my life. to stay." she looked hurt and angry. she looked to mom and dad.

"arent you going to do something about your daughter?" she exclaimed. mom shrugged.

"you had it coming rosalie. she's in love with collin get-"

"woah woah woah. love? who said i was in love with him? he is my bestfriend and i love him, but im not in love. he's to young anyways." mom and dad smiled at me.

"honey when your in love age doesnt matter. he is stuck at the age of 13 and you are at 7, it doesnt really matter. and plus when i was driving him to school, he was trying to figure out his feelings toward you." my heart fluttered. he has feelings for me?

"daddy i need to go see him"

"ok and you will." i shook my head.

"no i need to go see him. now. he needs me there with him."

"but renesmee he's in surgery."

"i dont care! i need to be there with him!" daddy sighed but nodded. we walked downstairs with mom got in the car and drove to the la push hospital. once we got there i hopped out of the car and ran into the waiting room. there i saw several of the wolves,collins mom and some girls i didnt know. most of the girls were crying and saying things like: "why didnt we spend more time with him" or "we shouldve gave him some more respect" oh and my favorite ." we should have paid attention to him when he needed us."

i sat down in an open chair across from the others and put my hands in my hands and just started crying. i felt a warm hand on my back and looked up. it was jacob. i wasnt really mad at him anymore and i needed him the most right now. so i hopped into his arms and cried into the crook of his neck. he sat down in my seat while i just sat in his lap.

"shh ness he's going to be ok.'' i sniffled.

"i know jacob. but he didnt deserve this. i think the little boy shot him because collin punched him in the face taking 2 teeth with it." jake looked surprised.

"damn i didnt know the little dude had it in him." i smirked alittle.

"yeah me either. i was so proud of him." we all just sat there for the next couple of hour, with nothing but the sound of sobs. just then grandpa charlisle came out. me along with several other people stood up.

"he will be fine. he is still unconsious and we dont know when he'll wake up but he is stable. one of you may go see him" his mom stood up.

"can i?" charlisle nodded and led her down the hall. after about 30 minutes she came back out crying and just walked straight out the door. i got up and made my way to where i saw them go. when i got to his room i saw that he was plugged up to several machines, and was shirtless with a bandage wrapped around his stomach. tears started to pour out of my eyes again and i walked to a chair and pulled it next to his bed. with shaky hands i grabbed his hand and just held it while i talked to him.

"hey collin, its me nessie. umm im sorry i wasnt there to drive you to school but my stomach was argueing with me. if you look at it its kinda ironic, i mean my stomach hurt loads and you got shot in the stomach."i giggled alittle. "this can be an episode on our t.v show. i was thinking about calling the show weight of the world. do you like that title?" no response. i sighed. "baby you gotta wake up everyone is out there waiting for you so you can make your apperance. oh and your not going back to that school. i dont care what anyone says you will be staying home. maybe ill get to home school you." i just sat there in silence, holding his hand. after awhile charlisle told me that visiting hours were over. but i came back every single day and sat there talking to him his mom came a couple of times to. but during that time i realized something, i was in love with collin. the following week i had kinda lost hope. but i came on monday anyways.

i sat down in my usual seat and smiled at him. "hey there collin im back did you miss me?" i said grabbing his hand. after i sat there in silence i had a brillant idea i would sing to him like i did when jake punched him. id sing evanescence- my immortal. i cleared my throat and started singing quietly.

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
Because your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me 


	6. Chapter 6

*chapter 6*

sorry if this is short but this was originally the end of the first stort story! oh and people kept asking me how does a 17yr old date a 14yr old. well i meant that she was 16, and thats only 2 years. and technically she is 7 and he's like 12 or 13 so yeah... but anyways ill post the next one soon which is the beginning of the next sequel: my last breath!

after i was done singing there was still no response. i sighed, but then i felt his fingers twitch around mine. i looked at his face and his eyes were blinking.

"charlisle... i said kinda quietly not knowing if i was dreaming or not. then his eyes fully opened and started looking around. i jumped up scaring collin and screamed "CHARLISLE!" i got alot of looks but i didnt care i was so happy! i carfully leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"n-nessie?" he said his voice dry and pained. "w-where am i-i?"

"sweetie your at the hospital, you got shot in the stomach on wednsday." i said stroking his hair. he he tried to sit up but i pushed him back down. where the hell was charlisle? "no no dont sit up you'll hurt your self, just lay down and relax." just then grandpa walked in.

"ah great collin your awake" he said walking over to him. " how do you feel?"

"m-my stomach i-is killing m-me." he said quietly. "b-but can y-you get m-me some water p-please?" grandpa smiled and left the room. i grabbed collins hand again. "n-nessie wednsday w-was the worst d-day of my l-life." i teared up again.

'' i know baby i know but im here now and nobody is going to hurt you anymore." grandpa came back with the water.

"t-thank you." said collin as he drank the water in one gulp. i smiled and started rubbing collins hand with my thumb. after he drank that charlisle checked his vitals and stuff.

"alright, well everything seems to be stable and you should be able to go home by atleast next week ." me and collin smiled at carlisle.

"t-thats great." grandpa nodded once and then went out the room. the rest of the week was almost uneventful. i stayed with collin and we laughed and talked the rest of the week. he could stand up on his own now and eat without his stomach reacting bad. finally on sunday i was able to take him home. i carefully helped him into his car seat then ran around to my side and got in the car. "i-im only 14 a-and ive already b-been shot." i giggled.

"yeah well thats the way life goes. im really sorry i wasnt there to protect you that day."

"its o-ok nessie. you h-had a stomach ache i-i understand." i flashed a quick smile at him, and we rode to his house in silence. when we got there i helped him out of the car and stayed extra close to him in case he lost balance. and inside his mom basically attacked him, but very carefully. she said she was going to go to the grocery store and health store in seattle to get some stuff for collin, and that she would be back in a few hours. he went in to the livingroom to sit down i followed. he was smiling shyly at something.

"what?" i asked.

"y-you wanted t-to name our s-show weight o-of the world?" i gaped at him.

"you could hear me?" he nodded. "well the yes, it would be about a boy who lost his way in the world and only the girl is there to pick up the pieces, and the girl ends up falling in love with the boy." i blushed, i was talking about me.

''y-your in l-love with m-me?" he asked timidly.

"yeah i am collin. your such a great person and a great friend. your sweet, nice, considerate and innocent. i love how you studder when your scared or shy. and you are not afraid to cry and on top of that i think you the sexiest little 14 year old i have ever seen." he blushed and looked down.

"i-im in l-love with y-you to r-renesmee." he said quietly looking at the floor. i was practically beaming at him. i lifted his face up and captured his lips. its like sparks flew through me. for someone who hasnt had many kisses he was a good kisser! me and his lips moved in synch. i wrapped my arms around his neck and he hesitantly wrapped his around my waist. i was making sure not too pull him to close and hurt his stomach. we had to seperate for air.

"w-wow." he whispered blushing. i giggled.

" i know. and uh for someone who hasnt kissed anyone else, you one hell of a kisser." he kept blushing and fiddled with his fingers.

"y-you are t-to." i lifted his chin and kissed him once more.

"i love you collin.'' he smiled at me.

"i-i love you too." i beamed.

when the weight of the world came crashing down on him i was there to pick up the broken peices of his life. he has been alone and unhappy most of his life. and i never realized that he was there completing and putting the missing peices in my life back together. no matter how old we are 14 to 16, those are just numbers that get in the way of true love. and this boy sitting next to me today is truly amazing. he'd been through hell and high water but, some how he managed to love me and trust me. and i love him back with all my heart. my collin areceli.


	7. Chapter 7

*chapter 7*

alright now we're getting somewhere! lol this is the beginning of my last breath it is the sequel, because like i said im making it into one story so enjoy! by the way this one is kinda emotional. and yes i have a thing for 'i love you's' so you'll be hearing it alot

I stayed at collins place until his mom got home until then we just talked.

"so renesmee does this make us a couple now?" collin asked quietly. i giggled.

'' of course silly. we're in love why wouldnt we be together?" he was silent.

"b-because jacob imprinted on you." damn. i forgot about that. i turned to face collin. he did the same.

" do you think ill leave you for him?" he slowly nodded his head. "baby, i would never do that to you. i dont love him, like i love you. i didnt stand up for jake when he was being teased. i didnt sit by his hospital bed talking to him for one week straight. no, i did all that for you." he smiled slightly.

" i guess that makes me feel better. i just dont want to fight with him. he scares me.'' i laughed and then pressed my lips to his.

" there is no fight and dont let him scare you he's all bark and im all bite." he chuckled at my bad joke. "and we'll tell all the wolves that we are an item together, you wont be alone."

'' ok well when do you want to tell them?" i thought about it.

"are there any upcoming bonfires?"

"yeah there's one tommorrow night." i smiled.

"well thats where we'll announce it." we sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of time. then we heard his mom come in the door.

"im home collin!" she yelled from the doorway. i kissed him once more on the lips then got up.

"i guess i should get going now. do you need help getting any where before i leave?'' he shook his head.

"no im fine. ill see you tommorrow. i-i love you." i beamed. hearing him say that will never get old.

"love you too. bye" i went to leave but his mom stopped me.

" oh i didnt realize you were still here renesmee. would you like to stay for dinner?" i smiled politely but shook my head.

"no thank you mrs. areceli, i really gotta get going."

"ok dear ill see you later'' i smilled and waved. i hopped in my car and drove off back home. when i got there, there was a note on the door. _went hunting. we should be back in a couple of hours. love, mom and dad. _i took the note down and walked into the house. when i did i saw jacob sitting in my livingroom on the couch watching family guy. i walked in there and cuddled up to jakes side. he kissed my head and put and arm around me.

"hey nessie. how's collin?" i smiled.

"hey babe, and he's doing so much better."

"thats good. i really missed you this pasted week." i smiled again, but then turned sad. i'd be breaking his heart in less than 24hrs.

" i missed you too jake. and i want you to know that i love you very much." he turned around to face me.

"where did that come from?" i shrugged.

"i love you very much. period." he kissed my head again.

"i love you to nessie." we sat in silence the rest of the time. i think i fell asleep while i was with jacob because, when i woke up i was in my room and he was fast asleep by my side. i got out of bed kinda excited and half dreading the day. excited, because i get to tell everyone about me and collin and dreading because im breaking jakes heart after my mom choose dad over him. yeah i know about that to. i picked out my clothes and went to the bathroom and did my morning routine and took a shower. when i came back out of the bathroom jacob was already up.

"morning jakey." he looked at me and grinned.

"good morning nessie." i looked at the state i was in. just a robe. i figured i would give jacob a goodbye show and kiss. so i untied the robe and let it drop to the floor. "jesus..." i heard jacob mutter. i blushed alittle when he said that, but i walked over to my closet, picked up my clothes and acted as if i dropped my shirt and bent down the pick it up slower than nessecary. i heard him make a moaning noise. i just got dressed right in front of him. once i was dressed i went over to jacob sat on his lap and kissed him full on the lips. it was nothing like when i kissed collin but oh well. when i pulled away i smiled.

"enjoy the show?" he nodded, dazed. i giggled and got up and picked up my keys off my nightstand. "im spending the day at collins and then we'll be at the bonfire, do you need a ride home?" he sighed.

"why do you spend so much time with him? i remember you use to cling to me like that." i sighed now.

"because he needs me more than you do right now. he's been going through a really tough time and im just there to help pick up the pieces." i kept out the part about how we fell in love he didnt need to know that just yet.

"i know, i just really really miss you renesmee." i smiled sadly at him.

"and i miss you too, and i hope we can still hang out after tonight." shoot. he looked confused.

"why wouldnt we be able to hang out after tonight?" i looked down.

" you might find out at the bonfire, but anyways do you need a ride home or not?" he looked like he wanted to press the subject further but he left it alone.

''sure sure.'' we both walked out to the car and drove in silence. i pulled into his house and kissed his cheek.

"see ya tonight jake." he smiled and then got out of the car. i took off to collins house. when i got there i knocked on the door and waited. no answer. i tried again. still no answer i started to get worried. then i saw collin come out of the woods gripping his stomach. i got up and rushed over to him. "collin? baby, are you alright?" i asked. walking slowly toward the house with him. once we got inside i laid him down on the couch, he winced alittle, and i sat next to him on the floor. i started stroking his hair and he finally answered me.

"yeah im fine, i just tried to phase and it hurt really bad."

"oh well you scared me for a minute, i thought someone hit you or something." he shook his head.

"nope im fine, im sorry i scared you though.'' i turned his head slightly and kissed him on the lips. we never did anything spectacular like tongue kissing, but we just share sweet, savoring closed mouth kisses. when i pulled away he blushed and i smiled.

"so what do you want to do until the bonfire?" i asked collin. he thought about it for a moment.

"how about we just watch a movie?" i nodded my head and walked over to his collection.

"so what shall it be?" he seem to be embarassed about something.

"umm i know this may sound childish but could we watch toystory 3?" i laughed, not at him but that was my favorite movie! he just played with his fingers. i put the movie in the dvd player. then i walked back over to him and grabbed his hand as i sat down.

"its not childish collin. i wasnt laughing at you its just that it is my favorite." he smiled.

"thank goodness i thought i was the only one who watched these movies any more." we shared a small laugh. then we both just watched the rest of the movie in a comfortable silence. when that movie was over i checked the time. we had time for one more movie.

"so what'll it be next babe?" he shrugged.

"you can pick this one." i turned and searched through the selves. i found what i was looking for. the day the earth stood still. i put it in the dvd player, and went back to my spot by collin. we watched this one in silence too. but when it got to the part where jaden smith was crying by his dads grave, i started to tear up too. that part always got to me. collin turned to look at me. "are you crying renesmee?" he asked kinda concerned. i giggled.

"yeah this part always gets to me." he chuckled, and then once the movie was over, i helped him off the couch, outside and into my car. and then we drove off.i think me and collin were both nervous because i was busy taking deep breathes and collin wouldnt stop bouncing his knee. i pulled in slowly to the beach.

"this is it."i said to collin. he nodded.

"y-yeah it is.'' we both sat there for another minute.

"do you want me to tell the guys or do you want to?"

"c-can you? i-i wouldnt be a-able to without b-breaking down." i nodded and rubbed his back.

"ok" i got out of the car and went over to his side to help him out. we started walking towards the beach. once we got close enough i yelled. "whats up my bitches?" they all turned to me and collin and yelled 'hey'. i pretended to be hurt. "what i dont get any 'damns' today. well damn." they all laughed lightly.

''hey you know you fine we dont have to remind you." said embry. i giggled.

''why thank you embry." he winked at me and i laughed. i took collin by the hand and walked over to an empty space between leah and brady. i spotted seth. usually i would just jump up and go flirt with him but now im in a relationship. so i asked collin using my gift. "_hey can i go and tease seth like i usually do?" _ he looked stunned for a minute. oops i forgot i never used my gift on him before.

"what was that?" he asked quietly.

"well since im half vampire i have a gift where i can show people my thoughts by touching them." he sat there for a moment trying to take all of this in.

"wow. and you dont have to ask me. its your life." i smiled he was so sweet. i put my hand on top of his and used my gift again.

"_your so sweet. ill be right back."_ he nodded. i got up and made my way over to seth. i plopped down on his lap purposely grinding alot to get comfortable. he groaned low enough that no one would really notice. i kissed his nose. " hey sethy what you been up to?" i asked.

"umm nothing much, kinda boring around here" i ran my finger down his lips and chest.

"why dont you ever come find me? i could find a couple of interesting thing to do..." i said then bucked my hips against him. he groaned again. i could feel a couple eyes on us now.

"really? what could we do?" i smiled.

"well we could... play monopoly, jenga, scrabble. i mean theres an endless list." whoever was listening laughed. even seth cracked a smile.

"your going to have to stop teasing me renesmee." i giggled.

"why? is it getting alittle... hard for you?" the guys laughed again. i got up and went back over to collin. he grinned at me when i sat down. i put my hand over his once again. "_should i tell them about us now?" _he turned his head and looked at jacob. then turned back to me and nodded. i stood up."hey you guys ive gotta tell you something." everyone quieted down and looked at me. "well umm how can i say this... me and collin are... a couple now." everyone turned to look at jacob. except for paul he jumped up and got in quils face.

"dude what did i tell you! i told you that they would hook up! i want my 10 dollars." he exclaimed.

"you guys seriously placed a bet on whether i would date collin or not?" i asked

"well i wouldnt call it a bet. more like a poll." i rolled my eyes and turned my attention to jacob. his face was emotionless. then he got up and walked towards me. to my surprise he grabbed me in a very loose hug.

"good luck with him." he said flatly. as he pulled away. then he walked towards collin and held out a hand. collin hesitantly stood up and shook it. "good luck with her. oh but one thing though collin."

"y-yes?" he said then jacob punched him in the stomach where he got shot. collin screamed bloody murder and fell to the ground. i froze were i was, staring in awe. jacob just turned away and acted as if nothing happened. i was way beyond pissed. collin was still on the ground crying and screaming, as i stomp off following jacob.

"what the hell is your problem! you really hurt him!" i said grabbing his arm. he shook me off so violently that i actually fell back. he turned to face me. i saw tears running down his face. id never seen jacob cry before so i lay there on the ground looking at him afraid of what he'll do next.

"whats my problem? whats my problem? YOU CAN ANSWER THAT FREAKING QUESTION YOUR SELF! your mom broke my heart, and she went into the arms of the one person i hated the most. my life was so meaningless and sad that i thought about shooting myself in the head. then she gets pregnant with you. i didnt like you at first either, because you were killing the one person i loved most on the earth. then you were born and i looked into your eyes, and nothing mattered anymore just you. for years after that i had been so happy, playing with you, feeding,holding you when you cried. kissing all your cuts and bruises. and now your grown. just when i thought i could finally love again, you ruin it." he let out a sob but then looked angry again. "BUT JACOB JUST CANT BE HAPPY CAN HE?" i got up.

"jacob look im so sorry-"

"no i dont need your done. im done with you, im done with everything. i dont care about the imprint anymore. i dont understand how i could be soulmates with someone so heartless'' he said then phased and ran away. i just stood there hurt and confused for a moment, and then i remembered collin. i ran back to the bonfire and he was still on the ground crying, but he was coughing up blood now. i got on my knees beside him and stroked his cheek with my thumb.


	8. Chapter 8

*chapter 8*

To answer someones question, i honestly have no clue if renesmee and collin will stay together. i mean i just finish the 4th sequel yesterday (horray!) and ive been thinking about it alot. so in the 5th sequel i might switch it up and break them up for good...but your just going to have to wait and find out! :) enjoy chapter 8! P.s: i really like this part! its emotional and funny!

" collin are you ok?" i know it was a stupid question but i couldnt think straight. he shook his head and coughed up some more blood. i ignored the smell because i hadnt hunted in awhile. "can you say something for me?" he shook his head again and a yelp escaped his lips and he rolled over until he was on his side slightly curled up. i began to cry. seth came over and put his arm around my shoulder.

"he's going to be ok nessie." i shook my head almost violently.

"no, no! look at him! he's coughing up blood! gosh jacob is such a jackass!" i broke off into a sob. i took out my cell phone. ''im going to call my grandpa charlisle." i said. my family was only allowed over the treaty line for emergencies. he picked up by the second ring.

"hello?"

"grandpa its me renesmee i need you to come down to la push." i heard a car door shut and it start up.

"what happened? are you ok?" he asked panic in his voice. i sighed.

"yes im fine. i-its collin. jacob punched him in the stomach where he was shot. and now he's coughing up blood."

"oh gosh." my thoughts exactly. "ok well im on my way tell him not to lay on his side but on his back no matter how much it hurts ."

"ok see you in a few." with that i hung up. "collin, sweetie, charlisle said you had to lay on your back." he shook his head.

" i-i... c-cant...hurts...t-too much." he managed to choke out.

"he said no matter how much it hurts you have to. now come on ill help." the rest of the wolfs were quiet. " seth could you help me lower him down?" he nodded.

"sure nessie." he got on the opposite side of him. i pulled while he pushed very gently. before we even got him half way down he screamed bloody murder again. i winced at the sound, but kept pulling. he kept screaming until his back touched the ground, then it was cut off with a loud cough. blood sprewed everywhere. i looked at all the wolves, their faces were pained and sorrowful. just then i heard a car pull up. i looked around and spotted grandpa charlisle coming this way. when he finally reached us he dropped down to collin who's breathing was now labored due to coughing and crying. grandpa took something out of a bag that he brought and wrapped it around collins wrist. he looked at the little meter thingy that came with it, then took it off. after he did all the things he needed to with items i couldnt identify he finally spoke up.

" well all of his vitals are fine and no abnormal bleeding so that means he didnt puncture anything." i sighed in relief and so did the wolves. "but what i think he did was rip a couple of the stitches that were holding the gun shot wound closed. so all i can say is that he shouldnt walk around or move alot for a couple days. " i nodded. i kinda wondered why they dont heal as fast with a gun shot.

"why dont werewolfs heal as fast as they usually do if they get shot?" i asked to no one in particular but grandpa answered.

"because most attacks on werewolfs are made to there outer being. and just like humans internal attacks are fatal. such as a bullet, a knife, or anything that gets through all the layers of skin." hmm i guess that made sense.

"thanks for coming charlisle." said sam. grandpa patted his back then walked to his car and drove off.

"could you guys help me get him in my car?" they all nodded and went to various parts of his body and gently gripped. " ok on 3 guys. 1...2...3." we all began to lift him and he screamed for the third time today. i could kill jacob. once we got him up we walked very slow to my car. i let go of my place on him and opened the backdoor for them to lay him in. once they had him in. i closed the backdoors but before i got in i asked them all a question.

"could you guys meet me at his house to help carry him to his room?" they all nodded." thank you." i said as they took off in the opposite direction. and then i got in the drivers seat and drove off.

"r-renes- ahhh. r-renesmee...please slow down." i heard collin croak from the backseat and i obliged going UNDER the speed limit. i had to admit though the speed we were going at was irritating but hey its for collin. someone from behind me kept honking their horn. i tried to ignore it but apparently their hand was glued to the horn. after about 10 minutes of non-stop honking i carefully pulled the car to a stop and got out. who ever it was is pissing me off. i went to the car behind me and tapped on the window. when they rolled it down to reveal a woman who was probaly in her mid twenties.

"miss could you stop honking you horn at me please." she rolled her eyes

"well little girl, some people actually trying to get places so either you speed up or get your scrawny ass off the road." i laughed and leaned down into her window so i was closer.

"im trying so hard to be nice right now _miss. _my boyfriend was shot and got stitches in his stomach because of it. and some jackass who was jealous of us punched him in the stomach and possibly ripped those, so please dont try my patience if you want your hands to stay attached to your wrist okay?" i flashed her a smile before getting back into the car where collin was still crying. i reached back and held his hand to whole rest of the way to his house. once we got there the pack beat us to the house. they all came over and lifted him out of the car. he didnt scream this time, i mean he did yelp but i still took it as a good sign. i opened the front door for them as they came in. his mom came out of the kitchen.

"oh dear what happened?" she asked as the pack laid him down on the couch. i sighed.

"jacob punched him in the stomach and possible ripped some of the stitches." she shook her head.

"thats horrible! well im going to head off now." she said grabbing her purse. where was she always going?

''um ok ill see you later then." i walked into the living room and saw leah wiping collins tears away as he cried and pack sitting around him talking amongst theirselves. i dont know why but i felt a twinge of jealousy watching leah comfort him. so i walked over and sat on the couch next to his head, i ran my fingers through is hair and kissed his cheek. he reached for my hand, his hands trembling. i grinned and met him halfway.

"we never offically congraduated you two on being a couple." said sam. i smiled at him.

"yeah so happy fucking!" said paul. i laughed at him.

"we are not fucking paul he's only 14! id feel like a pedophile if i took his virginity already. and thank you _sam._" some of the guys chuckled. i turned back to collin who is now on the verge of sleep.

"come you guys i think we should get going." said leah and everybody got up. i did too and gave each one a hug.

''bye nessie" they all said together. i giggled.

" bye you guys." i felt the air shift so i knew they phased. i looked at stopped crying and is fighting to keep his eyes open.

"r-renesmee are y-you leaving me t-tonight?"he said his voice raspy and low. from all the screaming,i guess.

"no im not leaving. ill be right here when you wake up. now get some sleep baby. i love you." he stopped fighting sleep and started to drift off. but not before he murmered,

"i-i love you t-too." i smiled and watched him sleep. i gotta call mom and dad to tell them i was staying here. i took out my phone and dialed dads number. he answered after the second ring.

"hi renesmee." he said.

"hey daddy, can i stay at collins tonight?" i asked quietly.

"ok. telling i said get better." i smirked.

"alright i will, bye dad." i hung up. i dont know how long i sat there just watching him sleep but i started to get really tired. so i got up and went to his bedroom and got two sheets. when i got back downstairs i laid one on the floor for me and put one over him although im sure he didnt need it. i curled up on the floor and went into a peaceful sleep. the next couple of days were just like that. me playing nurse for collin. by the end of this week he was able to walk around on his own again and we were both happy. then one night we were outside in his front lawn, sprawled out holding hands looking at the stars.

"you know renesmee," he said breaking the silence. "i really like having you as my first girlfriend even if your 3 years older than me. and uh... i heard what you said to the guys the day i got hurt, i-im sorri if i-i cant give y-you that." i smiled and turned my head to face him he did the same.

"i really like having you as my boyfriend to collin, and i dont care about that i just didnt want to take your virginity so early, because who knows you might find the 'one' someday and want to share it with her. even if you arent ready to do it in 100 years. ill wait for you. i might be alittle sexually tense but ill wait." he chuckled with me. i pecked his lips and turned back to the stars.

"would you like to go to dinner with me renesmee?" he asked timidly. i smiled widely at the stars,

"are you asking me out on a date?" i asked teasing him.

"umm... y-yeah i guess i am." i giggled.

" i would love to go out with you collin when and where?" yes our first date!

"well i was thinking friday and we can go to any place you want." damn it was only wednsday i wanted to go out now!

''how about we go to ruby tuesdays? its not to loud and its got a kinda romantic setting going on." he nodded.

"ruby tuesdays it is then." i smiled. we stayed there in silence for the rest time in silence. after awhile i had to go home, i told collin i probaly would see him tommorrow but id be picking him up at around 6. when i got home i went straight up tp my room changed and got in bed. i started thinking about jacob. i really missed him. having him lay next to me at night and being able to just hang out with him. what i missed the most was his smile. it always seemed to warm up the room. i sighed. i needed him. i decided to call him. i took out my cell and dialed his number. it rung a long time before someone answered.

"he-llo" he said in a deep bubbly voice. what the hell?

"jacob? is that you?" he chuckled.

"of course it is silly who else? you know ive really missed you renesmee, and every night when im fucking someone im thinking of you." his words were kinda slurred.

"ive really missed you too jake. but are you drunk?" he hiccupped then chuckled again.

"maybeee... buy hey hey how are you and that wolf? is he being nice to you?" i sighed.

"jake i want you to come over my house right now where are you?"

"i dont know a place." i giggled alittle he sounded so funny.

"are you still in la push? describe your settings"

"lets see.. theres a tree alot of rocks an im sitting on something white. oh and there is some very pretty water thats hitting me." it sounded like he giggled. i held back a laugh, but i knew exactly where he was.

"um ok d-dont move im coming to get you."

"no no no you cant little missy, because i dont love you anymore." ouch. i started to tear up so i ended to call and ran downstairs out the door to my car and drove to lapush beach. i parked once i got there and ran down the beach. i spotted someone just laying on the ground. i ran to him and saw it was jake.

"jacob why are you laying on the ground?" i asked lifting him to hims feet. he looked at me and i saw hate and love. he started crying, drunk tears. it was actually a funny sight to see but i didnt laugh because i hated seeing him or collin sad.

"it was so comfy... but hard and pointy. `minds me of you. you, you,you..."he kept repeating the word. i clamped his lips shut with my fingers.

"first off jacob stop crying. two come on we're going back to my house." i started pulling him down the beach. he was stumbling and tripping over thing the whole way. finally i got him to my car, then i got in and i drove off he was quiet the whole way there. surprising. i pulled into my house and pulled jacob out the car. he gasped when we got the door. i became concerned. "what is it jake?" he leaned down to my ear, i could smell alchol heavy on his breath.

"you live here?" he whispered. i burst out laughing. he looked confused. i rolled my eyes.

"of course i do you've been here before jacob.'' i grabbed his hand and pulled him through the door and up to my room. my parent we're on the couch giving me a look. ignored it and continued walking. when we got to my room i told him to lay down on my bed.

"are you going to have your way with me?" i hid my laughter.

"no jacob just lay down and go to sleep." i walked over to my bed and laid down. jacob followed me and did the same. he inhaled deeply when his head hit the pillow.

"smells just like you. so sweet." i smiled and kissed his nose. he was already drifting off further into sleep.

"i hope we can still be friends jacob." he didnt answer me. a few minutes later i heard his soft snoring. i sighed and then drifted off to sleep myself. when i woke up jacob was sitting up against the head board his eyes shut.

"good mor-"

"dont say a word to me." i was confused. "i cant believe i let myself come here. damn i was so out of it." i touched his arm and he fliched away from my touch. "DONT TOUCH ME!" he yelled. i was tearing up again, and some spilled over. he looked at me his eyes full of pain but he quickly composed himself. my parents came into the room. jacob jumped up.

"why are you yelling at my daughter jacob?" dad asked.


	9. Chapter 9

*chapter 9*

enjoy!

"because i hate her," those word hit deep. he hated me? "but... no matter how hard i try i cant stop loving her. but she loves someone else, like always. jacob just cant win." my mom looked remorseful for a minute. '' i guess she does take after her mom though ,huh bella?" my mom just kinda sunk in to my dads back. jacob scoffed. "im leaving, i need a drink." he walk toward the window but he turned around to face me. "dont call me again, i might be around your house as wolf every couple of month though because of the physical pain i feel from not being with you but otherwise i dont want to see or hear from you ok? oh and tell your boyfriend i hope i broke something." with that he jumped out of the window. i kinda just stared off into space. i just lost my bestfriend. mom and dad came over and wrapped their arms around me.

"renesmee sweetie are you ok?" mom asked. i didnt answer. "honey talk to us." i stayed quiet.

"come on love she needs to be alone." they both got up and headed towards the door but i heard dads voice again. "we told you, you'd fall in love with collin nessie" usually that wouldve made me smile but my smile went out the window with jacob. so i just stayed like i was staring a wall. i heard him sigh and close the door. after what seems like forever i heard someone burst into my room squealing then jumped on my bed. that brought me out of whatever trance and i realized it was alice.

"what the hell alice?" she continued jump up and down on my bed.

"your first date is tommorrow! we gotta go shopping!" she dropped down and wrapped her arm around me.

"how did you know about that? i thought you couldnt see the wolves or me?"

"i cant! your dad told me he heard it in your head last night and i thought it would be perfect to take you shopping."

"well i dont want to go shopping." she frowned.

"come on renesmee it'll be fun. please?" i sighed. ill let her have her fun.

"fine alice." she squealed in delight. i got up and walked over the bathroom and did my whole morning routine then walked out to pick my clothes out, but there was already an outfit on my bed. i sighed and put on the purple shirt, lightwash skinny jeans and purple and white hi-tops. i walked very slowly downstairs kinda regretting i told alice i'd go, i remembered how crazy she was when it came to clothes. as soon as i hit the last step alice grabbed me and pulled outside to her yellow porshe. we drove off to seattle.

"so renesmee what was wrong with you this morning? you looked like you just saw a ghost" i inhaled. jacob... she must of caught on to my discomfort because then she muttered. "nevermind" i turned on the radio so it could fill in the ackward silence. and of course the one song that reminds me of jacob is on the radio. mariah carey 'we belong together' i sighed and just sat back in seat trying to ignore it. we got to seattle in under 30 minutes. alice practically ripped her car door off the hinges trying to get in the mall. i slowly got out the car and she linked her arms with me and skipped into the mall. well here we go.

auntie dearest first took me to every shoe store there was in the whole mall and bought me atleast 3 pairs from each one. then took me to the most expensive dress store i had ever seen.

"alice we're only going out to dinner, i dont need some fancy dress." she just snorted and continued browsing amongst the millions they had, ocassianally throwing one at me. i tried them all on and she narrowed it down to buying 10! after we left there she tried dragging me to a purse store, but thats when i started protesting. '' no alice i refuse to step foot in that dreaded store. i am tired, my feet hurt, and i feel like eating." she gave me pleading eyes.

"come on renesmee please? just this last store."

"how about you go in and buy everything you want and ill wear it if i can go sit in the car?" she pouted, but when i wasnt budging she sighed and gave me the keys.

"ok fine." she skipped, no literally skipped into the store. i rolled my eyes and dragged myself to the i was in the car i put my seat all the way back and relaxed. i felt my phone buzz after a few and i jumped. i took it out of my pocket kinda hoping it was jacob. but it wasnt it was a text message from collin. that still really cheered me up though. i flipped my phone open and it read:

"_hey nessie just thought i would say hi and that i love you." _ i smiled widely for the first time today. i hit reply.

"_aww i love you too baby. i really needed that today." _i hit sendand waited for a reply. i got one a minute later.

"_why? what happened?" _

"_well... its a really long story ill tell you tommorrow." _i waited again.

"_ok well cheer up ness, and put a smile on your face, cause its beautiful!" _i smiled wider and laughed. he had never talked to me so loving before. it was so cute.

"_well that really put a smile on my face babe thank you_"i didnt get a reply message after that so i just sat and waited for alice. i think i was in the car for an hour before i saw alice walking this way with all our shopping bags. she quickly stuffed them in the truck, got in the front seat, and then drove off.

"what are you so giddy about now missy?" huh? i guess i was still happy looking after text collin.

"oh i was just texting collin." she smiled.

''he makes you really happy doesnt he?" now i smiled.

"yeah he does aunt alice." i would be happier if...jacob... were here. we drove the rest of the way in silence. once we got home i practically danced with joy as i got home. alice just shook her finger. i looked at her confused.

"we are not done yet missy." i groaned and pouted.

"what else could we possibly have to do?" she picked me up bridal style and ran into the cottage and up to my the matter of about two minutes i was on my bed.

"we have to pick out what dress your wearing of course!." yippy. "ill be right back" she flew back out of the room. i considered hiding, but she was back upstairs with all of the bags before i could even get off the bed. i tried on every dress with every shoe and every purse. alice finally decided on my Beauty remains purple dress with some 3inch marmet purple and black heels with a matching purse. i could cried for joy when she left. i hopped on the bed sighing in comfort, but i couldnt go to sleep for some reason. so i just laid on my bed, relaxing for awhile. my phone buzzed. i turned around and reached for it. i check the time first 8:07. hmm. guess i was sitting here alot longer than an hour. i flipped my phone open and saw the message was from collin. it read:

"_i know im probaly irritating you but i... i just miss you. i wanted to say good night." _i smiled from ear to ear. and i didnt have to be there to know he'd be stuttering if he were talking.

"_well, isnt someone being compassionate today? and your not irritating `cause i miss you too. i love you ill see you tommorrow." _ i waited for a reply. i got one a couple minutes later.

"_ i guess i am huh? and i love you too." _i smiled and turned my phone off, placing it back on my nightstand. i drifted off thinking happy thoughts about him. my collin. i was woken up by someone bouncing on my bed. i groaned as i sat up. alice.

"alice what time is it?" she stopped bouncing.

"12:00" wow i slept in.

"why are you in here jumping on my bed?" sometimes i wish vampires could sleep.

"well duh because its your first date! i have to get you ready."

"alice it is 12 in the freaking afternoon my date is not until like 6. that gives me about 7 hours to get ready. please get out of my room." she frowned at me.

"dont get an attitude with me renesmee, i just wanted to make sure you were perfect for your date." i sighed.

" i know. just give me an hour to prepare for you." she giggled and flew out of the room. i got up got in the shower and did my morning routine. once i was done i sat on my bed in my robe.i had about 30 minutes till she came back so, i figured i would call collin. i took out my phone and dialed his number.

"_hello_?" as soon as i heard his voice i beamed.

"hey baby how are you?"

"_nessie!," _he said kinda excitedly.i blushed and giggled. "_its nice to hear your voice, and im fine you?" _i sighed

"uggh ive had better days."

"_are you ok?" _he sounded concerned. i smiled.

"yeah baby im fine, its just that aunt alice is about to attack me with her make-up kit." he laughed, and i couldnt help but giggle.

"_oh well im sorry. you d-dont need the m-make-up anyways." _he said nervously_._

"what has gotten into youu mister romantic?" i heard him chuckled shyly.

"_nothing. its just that before, you were always comforting me a-and i never really g-got a chance to s-show you my 'romantic' side. and p-plus your my f-first girlfriend, im k-kinda just trying out what i heard the g-guys saying to their i-imprints." _he was so nervous. so cute.

"aww, well im glad your trying their stuff out. keep listening to them." we both laughed.

"_i just d-decided it was time f-for me to grow u-up and become someone you can d-depend on." _he said kinda quietly. i could cry.

"you know your about to make me cry right?"

"_oh im s-sorry. im just n-nervous. im afraid i-ill say the wrong t-thing." _he sounded upset now.

"no no baby dont get upset thats not what i meant. and i know your nervous but thats ok, you wont say the wrong things. what you said before was so sweet but dont think you have to provide for me. your only 14, you cant have that much pressure on your shoulders ok? let me kinda lead you through the relationship right now." we stayed silent for a minute.

"_i guess your right nessie, i just dont want to mess this up. your the only person in the world left that loves me_." ok now the tears flowed over.

"your not going to mess this up babe, have some faith in yourself. its your first serious relationship. but your doing damn ok so far. and im not the last person. theres lot of people. like the wolf pack and your mom" he sighed.

"_my mom doesnt love me, thats why she's never home when i am. she is trying to avoid me as much as she can." _so that was why she was never home.

"well thats her fault. dont feel like its yours, and no offence but if she never wanted you then she shouldve stopped fucking around. and i cant stress this fact enough but you are a wonderful person, anyone who doesnt realize it is a damn fool. i love you. no matter what. thats all you need to know. any other negative thing or words that someone says or does is crap" we stayed silent again.

"_i love you to renesmee_.'' i smiled. then i thought about something and laughed. "_what?"_ he asked.

"we sound like another episode. we need to write a script." we both shared a laugh.

"_i think we'll be good actors." _ i giggled. just then alice came in with her hair and face stuff. oh joy. i sigh.

"i gotta go baby alice is here." he chuckled, understanding.

"_ok bye renesmee_." i smiled.

"bye" when i hung up alice stood there smiling but looked shocked '' what?"

"i heard you from downstairs. you guys just started dating like 3 weeks ago and your already popping the 'L' word? plus he's so young" i laughed and shrugged.

"what can i say? the kid just grew on me, he's been through so much and from the moment i saw him i knew i would love him someday. and plus i am technically seven" she sniffed and acted like she wiped a tear way. i giggled at the sight.

" that is so adorable! but anyways com on because i gave you an extra 45 minutes." i looked at the clock 10 minutes till 2. hmm where does the time go? alice grabbed my hand and sat me down a chair. and for 3 hours i got my face steamed like i really needed she kept apply ing and re-applying my make up till the point where i looked like a clown. when she finally picked a combination she liked she started working on my hair which she kept re-doing. FINALLY she picked a hair style she liked. she carefully pulled the dress over my head and i put my heels on. and when i looked in the mirror, im not gonna lie, but i looked HOT! i went downstairs where i saw my parents sitting on the couch. what was so special about it that they were always there? i heard daddy chuckled.

"its just really comfy renesmee. and you look nice." i smiled. and mom nodded in agreement.

"thanks you guys but i should get going." i started walking for the door

"have fun sweetie! and dont be out to late!" my mom yelled after me.

"sure sure." i stopped dead in my tracks, the front door hanging open. what the hell did i just say? i shook my head and proceeded to walk to the ferrari, i wasnt about to let my thoughts of jacob ruin this day. i got in the car and drove off. when i pulled to collin house it was about 6:30, i got out car and walked up to his door. i knocked and waited. a minute later collin opened the door without a shirt. i let my eye roam over his chest. damn.

"wow you l-look..um... beautiful nessie." i smiled and kissed his lips softly.

"thank you. i like your abs" i whispered in his ear. i pulled back to look in his eyes he was blushing a deep red. i giggled and pecked his lips once more then moved past him and walked in the house.

"umm i-ill be right back.'' he said then walked upstairs. i sat in the livingroom and waited for him. after a few he came back down stairs in a white button down shirt. i smirked and stood up. i noticed today how we were now almost the same height. i was about 5'10.

"you look so handsome." he blushed again. i grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. we both got in the car and drove off in silence. once we got to the resturant we were immediatly seated because we called ahead. we both read our menu. then the waiter came. he was kinda freaking me out because he kept staring at me.


	10. Chapter 10

*chapter 10*

enjoy!

"hey, my name is calvin, what can i get you today?" he said talking directly to me. i didnt really like this guy, he was ignoring collin!. i turned to look at collin who was kinda glaring at the guy. aww. i figured id help him out.

"collin baby what are you getting?" i asked him. the waiter then turned to him kinda dissapointed.

"um i think ill just have the steak and lobstertail with a coke" the waiter quickly jotted it down, and turned back to me.

"and for you, beautiful?" i rolled my eyes into my menu.

"ill have the parmesan chicken pasta with a coke also." i took collins menu and handed them to the guy and he walked off. "that dude was a jackass..." i said to collin who chuckled.

"yeah he was, its like he didnt even know i was sitting right here until you spoke up." i reached my hand out across the table and collin obliged by taking it in his.

"NO one ignores my baby," collin blushed and looked down. "and besides he was butt ugly, he looked like a scrawny version of embry." we both laughed. we moved our hand holding to under the table and just made small talk while we waited for 'calvin'. soon enough he came back out with our food.

"ok tell me if you need anything else" he said smiling at me, i smiled back hoping it looked polite. obviously it was because he walked away happily. i turned to my food and kinda played with it i wasnt hungry for _it_. collin was already attacking his food like the rest of the wolves do. he looked up at me.

"your not hungry ness?"

"umm im sorry if this creeps you out but not for food." he looked at me side ways for a minute and then realized something.

"oh. your thirsty. no that doesnt creep me out, its what you are. i love what you are. we can go hunting after we leave here if you want." i smiled and gripped his hand alittle tighter under the table.

"your too sweet. but you dont have to do that for me baby i can always go tommorrow." he shook his head.

"i want to do it." i did kinda want to see what his wolf looked like so i nodded my head and started eating a bit of my food. it was pretty good. "hey nessie?" i looked up at him.

"yes?"

"what was wrong yesterday?" i sighed, jacob...

"well... after i left your house on wednsday i was missing jacob s-so i called him. but he was drunk." collin stared at me wide eyed, but i put my hand up to tell him to let me finish. " he was at the beach and i told him to wait for me there. so i went to get him so he wouldnt hurt himself, and let him stay at my house. and the next morning i tried talking to him but he just yelled telling me not to talk or to touch him." i started tearing up and a few spilled over. collin started rubbing my hand under the table. "but the worst part is, he said he didnt want to see or hear from me again because he...he...hates me" i started crying harder. collin slid out of his booth and came over to mine and hugged me. i just cried into his shoulder. "i-i...lost m-m-my ...bestfriend." he started rubbing my back.

"im so sorry renesmee. i know for a fact he doesnt hate you. jacob is just stubborn, he didnt get what he wanted and now he's on a rampage he'll get over it sooner or later. he's missing out on being with a wonderful girl. he's the one that lost a friend." kinda like speechless. i started to calm down and looked into his eyes.

"such wise word for such a young person" he chuckled then blushed alittle. "but i love you, thank you for saying that." he smiled.

"i meant every word of it, i love you too." we both smiled at each other for a minute then said,

"episode" at the same time. we cracked up. `1 moved back to his side of the booth and we held hands again while we both finished our food. then one of my favorite songs came on in the resturant. one wish by ray j.

"i absolutely love this song!" i told collin. i cleared my throat and started singing:

As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first  
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know  
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room  
Cause, we couldn't be alone  
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt  
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse  
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you  
Listen and don't trip  
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it  
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love  
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up  
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends  
Love would never end, it would just begin  
If I had one wish, you would be my boo  
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you  
If I had one wish, we would run away  
Making love all day, have us a baby  
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life  
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time

If I had one wish  
One wish, one wish, one wish  
One wish, one wish, one wish  
One wish, one wish, one wish  
One wish, one wish, one wish

Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in  
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho  
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me  
So girl don't tell me what I'll feeling is make believe  
I swear if I lose a second chance with you  
I wouldn't know what to do  
I'll probably check myself into some kind of clinic  
I couldn't be alone because without you I'll sick  
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love  
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up  
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends  
Love would never end, it would just begin  
If I had one wish, you would be my boo  
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you  
If I had one wish, we would run away  
Making love all day, have us a baby  
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life  
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time  
If I had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road  
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know

If I had one wish, we would be best friends  
Love would never end, it would just begin  
If I had one wish, you would be my boo  
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you  
If I had one wish, we would run away  
Making love all day, have us a baby  
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life  
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time 

when i got done collin was smiling at me, and people around us started clapping.

"oh stop it." i said they all chuckled and turned back to their dinner. i saw calvin coming this way with the bill. i started to take my money out but collin stopped me.

"what are you doing?"

"umm trying to pay for dinner." he shook his head.

"nope im paying for it." i smiled and put my purse away. i figured id let him take the pride in paying. when calvin came over collin handed him the before he walked away he stood right next to me. without knowing collin had super hearing he whisper something to me.

"hey, when you ditch the little boy, why dont me and you hang out?" i heard a low growl and collins hand was shaking very little i turned and smiled at him. i felt ecstatic that he was jealous.

"its ok baby, calm down." his slight shaking faded away and i turned back to the waiter. "why would i want to go out with you? ive got a sweet, nice, thoughtful, and damn sexy boyfriend sitting right here. and yeah he might be alittle you but he is more man than your scrawny ass will ever be." he looked shocked. i decided to make alittle in side joke. "and did you know we have a t.v show? as a matter a fact we just made an episode a minute again." calvin looked confused and i could hear collin trying to hold back his laughter. "hun if you havent caught on yet.. get the hell out of my face!" he jumped back then walked away. i turned to collin who was now laughing. i just grinned andd stood up. he did too and we walked out of the resturant.

"that was really funny nessie.'' collin said once we were driving off. i smirked.

"i know im just that awesome." we shared a small laugh. most of the way to his house we were quiet. once i got to his house we went inside, his mom wasnt here. again. we both sat on the couch

"renesmee? can...can i k-kiss you?" i laughed.

"collin, you dont have to ask im yours." i said then pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck. he followed my lead and wrapped his around my waist. while we kissed i figured we could try something different,using my gift i transfered my thoughts to him.

"_baby i want you to open your mouth." _he jumped and tried to pull away from the kiss but i gripped him tighter. "_didnt mean to scare you, but dont pull away just slowly open your mouth, trust me." _he opened his mouth very slowly and once he did i let my tongue dart into his mouth. at first he was alittle nervous but then while my tongue was exploring his mouth his did the same. his tongue tickled the roof of my mouth but i didnt want to laugh, so i moaned. we were both turned to face each other on the couch, so without breaking the kiss i moved so that i was sitting on his lap. i wanted to be as close to him as possible without hurting his stomach.

he still seemed kinda nervous about doing something wrong but he was doing great! i moved my tongue so that mine and his were now dancing together. what he did next kinda surprised me. he moved his hands so that they were at my sides and started rubbing up and down. so this time i followed his lead and let my hands roam his body. first i moved them from his face to his neck then his shoulders. i let my nails gently rake down his chest and when i scraped one of his nipples he, stopped his circuit and gripped my side kinda hard. i moaned it felt amazing when he was rough. i whined in protest when he pulled away.

we had been able to kiss longer by breathing out of our noses.

"renesmee i-im sorry b-but i dont w-want to go a-any further.'' he said shyly. i smiled at him.

"thats fine, but that was fucking amazing." he blushed.

"i-i didnt mean t-to grab your w-waist that hard. i-its just what y-you did felt... g-good." i smiled widely.

"you didnt hurt me baby, like i said it felt so fucking amazing. your good with your hand." he blushed a deeper red and i hopped off his lap. but as i was i felt something hit my leg. . goodness. he was hard! i tried to pretend like i didnt notice but i couldnt help the blush that creeped around my cheeks. i looked at the clock. almost 9. " i think i should get going now collin." he looked kinda of upset.

"a-are you mad a-at me?" i sat back down and cupped his chin.

"no no sweetie im not mad at you, why would i be?" he sighed.

"because i-im not ready t-to..." shook my head.

"im not that shallow collin." i said sharper than intended.

"im sorry i-i wasnt c-calling you s-shallow i was j-just..." he sighed again and put his head in his hands. "i k-knew i would mess u-up. im so s-sorry." he was getting really up set so i hugged him. he buried his head in my shoulder.

"its ok baby you didnt mess up, its just... i would never be mad at you about that. im not going to pressure you to do something your not ready for ok?" he nodded into my shoulder then pulled back and kissed me. i was surprised he made the move on his own accord this time. when he parted i smiled .

"i love you renesmee. so much." i beamed at him.

"i love you too. collin." i pecked his lips once more before getting up walking to my car and driving off. when i got to my house i realize i had been so caught up with that kiss that i completely forgot about going hunting. i parked the car and ran out into the forest behind the house. once i got far enough inward i started sniffing out for something. i smelled some dears nearby. i followed it. and when i found them i pounced on one of their backs, snapping its neck and sinking my teeth into its neck, letting the warm liquid flood my mouth. after i finished that one, i was getting ready to find another one, but then i smelled something sweet.

"hello?" i said now walking back toward the house. the smell was getting closer. "i-is somebody there?" i was getting really scared now. i felt a whosh of air past me, and thats when i started running as fast as i could. i bumped into something hard and screamed. not because it hurt but i was afraid of who it might be.


	11. Chapter 11

*chapter 11*

enjoy!

"renesmee calm down its just me. are you ok?" i heard my dad say. i flew into his arms.

"no daddy i smelled a vampire." he sighed.

" i know i could hear his thoughts. why are you out here hunting by yourself anyways?"

"i was going to go with collin but we forgot so i just went now."

"dont do it again ok?" i nodded. "good now go home and get some sleep, ill be back in a few." i nodded once more and ran straight home. when i got there i went straight to bed not even bothering to change. then next couple of months went like that. alice kept having visions about a vampire coming but then it would disappear. so it either had something to do with me or the wolves. and to tell the truth i was kinda of scared out of my mind. me and collin were still going strong, but we either stayed on reservation or my house, just to be cautious. he seem to open up to me more and come almost comeplete out of his shell. i meand dont get me wrong he still had his moments but he wasnt studdering as much as he use to when he got nervous.

but the more months that passed the more i missed jacob. i caught him a couple of times sleep outside my house but other than that i hadnt heard from him or seen him. human tonight me and collin were walking down the beach in la push.

"renesmee ive been thinking." collin said when we sat down in the sand, er,well rocks.

"about what?" he looked out to the water.

"us" i froze was he breaking up with me?

"a-are you breaking up with me?" i asked feelling like i wanted to cry. he turned to look at me.

"what? no! im not breaking up with you!" i breathed.

"oh ok good. so what about us?" he looked down and chuckled nervously.

"i-i know this might be k-kinda forward but... about our future. if there will be one of course." i smiled and scooted closer to him till i could rest my head on his put his his head on top of mine.

" i have too. what do you think about though?"

"just the basic stuff, our wedding, house, kids" i was surprised.

"you want kids?" he chuckled.

" i know what your thinking ' im too young to raise a kid' but i do want one some day."

"no thats not at all what im thinking although that is a valid reason too. its just most men dont want children. because as soon as they find out their woman is pregnant its kinda like 'oh hell no'." he laughed.

"well if i were to find out you were pregnant id probably jump off a cliff with joy."

"yeah... lets not do that ok?" i said patting his knee. we both laughed. "but i find it really interesting that a 14 year old is thinking about children and and marriage.'' he shrugged.

" i know but ive found someone i want to spend my life with so why not start planning early?" i beamed and lifted my head up.

"you'd really want to spend your life with me?" he nodded and i kissed him lovingly on the lips. it lasted a few seconds before i pulled back and smiled again. "i'd love to spend mines with you, but ive got a thing with that waiter." he immediatly looked sad, but when he saw me trying not to smile he pushed me back into the...rocks. i squealed and laughed uncontrollably, as he tickled me.

''that wasnt very nice nessie" i kept laughing.

"o...ok ok! im sorry!" i managed to yell through laughter. he stopped tickling me and i tried to catch my breath. once i did he lowered his lips to mine. once we parted, we rested our foreheads together. " i love you collin." he smiled.

"i love you too." he got up and dusted himself off then reached down to help me up and i did the same thing. we walked back to my car hand in hand. when i got to his house i pecked his lips.

"night baby. see you tommorrow"

"good night nessie.'' he got out and walked into the house and i drove off. when i got home i smelled a werewolf. jacob must be near the house sleeping. i sighed and walked into the house. when i got in my parents were on the couch, and when they heard me come in they smiled at me. i gave them a questionable look an them just turned their attention back to the t.v. i slowly walked upstairs and into my room. when i opened the door i saw jacob sitting on my bed. i gasped when he looked up at me. he looked like a dead man walking. his eyes were blood shot, he actually looked pale and he looked skinnier than a werewolf should.

"oh jacob..." i went over to him cautiously and kneeled down in front of him, keeping my distance though.

" i cant do it anymore..." he said his voice wavering and was no louder than a whisper.

"do what jacob?" he didnt answer me for awhile.

"no matter... how hard i tried to ... hate you... i cant. everytime i tell myself... that i dont need you ... i hurt. i just cant do it anymore..." he started crying. i grabbed him in my arms and i cried. with him.

"then stop trying jake. i miss you so much that it hurts me too. i think about you everyday." his chest was heaving up and down violently, he was crying so hard. i cried harder to and we just sat there holding each other.

"i stopped drinking... awhile ago... it just helped... mask the pain. i cried everyday... and i even fainted once... renesmee it hurts so bad..." he broke out into another sob.

"shhh jacob its ok now. im here. and i want you to stay with me." he kept crying, so i sung to him.

When your heart is free  
It's easy to make a decision  
When your head is clear  
You know you have good judgment  
But when your life is turning topsy turvey  
And you have no reasons for what's disturbing  
Remember these words my father said to me

(Chorus)  
He said: Keep your head up don't say you hate him  
Walk away from all that is hurting  
Find your power you know your strong  
Make that step and it will help you along

When your minds at peace  
Sleep comes so very peacefully  
When you start to dream  
There wonderful and so very sweet  
But when your life is turning topsy turvey  
And you have no answers for what's disturbing  
Remember these words a preacher said to me

(Chorus)  
He said: Keep your head up don't say you hate him  
Walk away from all that is hurting  
Find your power you know your strong  
(Take that step)  
Make that step and it will help you along (2x)

Why give up this time you can't win  
(You can't win)  
Why give up this battle is within  
(Is within)  
Why stay alone when he gonna do  
Why choose him when its time to choose you

Keep your head up don't say you hate him  
Walk away from all that is hurting  
Find your power you know your strong  
Make that step it will help you along

after i got done singing, he started to calm down. i kissed his head and rubbed his back.

"renesmee im so sorry. i never meant to hurt you i-i-i was just a mess. i lost all my chances at love... but i love you so much, i cant stay away anymore. ill take you as anything, just please..." he trailed off and took a deep breath because his voice was breaking again. "please forgive... i cant spend those months i did alone again." i fet some fresh tears hit my back. i started rubbing his back again.

"ive already forgiven you jacob, along time ago. i couldnt think right without you jake. i miss your warm smile that always made everything better and i miss how things use to be so easy between us. and i missed you so much. i love you so much, so much i can hardly contain it. but as much as i hate to say it, im happy though jake. collin makes me really happy." he sighed.

"dont hate to say it. im glad your happy. as long as your happy and i have you then im happy." i smiled and opened my eyes over his shoulder. but when i did i saw a spider, i detached myself from jacob and screamed. he looked shocked and scared. "whats wrong?" i pointed to the spider. he looked at it and laughed. hearing his laughter warmed my soul and i couldnt help but laugh with him. he got up and stomped on it. i got off the bed and walked over to him. "there its all gone." he said chuckling. i hugged him. " that was the first time ive laughed in months" he said wrapping his arms around me. i didnt really hear what he said. i was to happy he was home.

" i love you jacob." he kissed my head.

"i love you too nessie." i pulled away. and looked at his skinny body.

"when was the last time you ate?" he thought about it.

"about a week ago." i gaped at him.

" a week? you've been starving yourself!" he just shrugged.

"i couldnt function with out you nessie. i was dead to the world." i frowned.

"well i am going to go make you a huge dinner right now." his stomach rumbled in response. i giggled.

" he says thank you." i laughed and pulled him downstairs with me. i decided to make him some lasanga. and a big pan of it. i could feel his eyes on me the whole time while i was cooking. and when it was done i didnt even bother to take it out of the pot i just put it in front of him and handed him a fork, then hopped on his lap.

"i hope you know your going to have to spend every waking moment never being out of my sight for the next 100 hundred years right?" he just laughed.

"i was going to tell you the same thing." i kissed his neck. he took the first bite of his lasanga and it sounded like he moaned. "god, ive missed your cooking." i giggled. i just sat there curled up in his lap while he ate and it was silent. when he finished i rinsed the pot out (yes he ate it all) and then dragged him back up stairs. when we got up there i laid him down and clung to him. he chuckled.

"i take it you missed me alot?" i looked up at him.

'' not alot. i missed you so much it felt like half of me was gone. there isnt a word that describes how much i missed you." he kissed my forehead.

"i know renesmee, it was the same for me but 3x worse. i love you.'' i started drifting off to my favorite sound. his heart beat.

'' i love you too." and i went to sleep the happiest person on earth. when i woke up and realized what happened yesterday i started beaming and couldnt stop. it was only 7 so i danced, yes danced into the batroom. did my morning routine and got into the shower singing. once i got out and got dressed i was still smiling as i went downstairs and started a huge breakfast. as i was cooking my parents came downstairs.

"hello wonderful parents of mine!" i said cheery. i skipped over to them and placed a kiss on both of their cheeks. they both chuckled.

'' and may i ask why your so happy today?" asked my mom as i turned back to the stove .

"oh maybe because my bestfriend is back and im so happy i feel like i could explode!" i started jumping, making the pan i was holding clang against the stove, they both laughed at me.

"well its good to see you this happy again." i heard my dad say and heard them walk away. the eggs were done so put those in a bowl and danced over to take the hash browns out of the oven. and as i was taking the bacon off out of the pan i heard foot steps. i turned around and saw it was jacob. smiled even wider if that were possible.

"jacob! i sang and ran over and jumped on him. he stumbled back but caught his balance. i kissed his nose. "good morning honey." he chuckled and i hopped down and skipped back to the kitchen. i put the last of the bacon on the plate and set it down on the counter where jacob was now sitting. i made him a plate and set it down in front of him as i sat in his lap humming a random tune. he looked down smiling my smile.

"why are you so happy today?" he asked now turning back to his food and eating.

"because my bestfriend is back and i feel like SCREAMING!" i yelled 'screaming' just empasize my point. "oh god im so glad your back!" he swallowed then laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

*chapter 12*

enjoy!

"im flattered you missed me as much as i did you. so what are we doing today?" i bit my lip because i was afraid of how he would i didnt answer he looked down at me. "what are we going to visit collin?" i was surprised at him.

"umm yeah..." he smiled

"jeez your acting like im going to kill the guy, i actually wanted to say sorry, i dont want my bestfriends , boyfriend to hate me" i just got happier and start crying happy tears. jacob looked concerned. "what did i say? im sorry." i shook my head and wiped my eyes.

"no you didnt do anything. i..i..IM JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY!"

"renesmee..." i heard my dad say. jacob started cracking up.

" sorry daddy!" i turned back to jacob and smiled. once he was finished eating he got dressed while i washed the dishes. once that was done i grabbed his hand and headed towards the door.

" wait renesmee!" my mom yelled.

"yeah?"

'' i dont think you should go out today. alice had a vision about the vampire disappeared today so something might happen."

"mom, ill be fine im going to be with jake and collin they wont let anything happen to me." she sighed.

"jacob please keep a close eye on her."

"sure sure bella." with that i pulled jacob out of the house. when i headed to the car he let my hand go. "actually i think im going to run nessie."

"can i ride on your back? i dont wanna be away from you." he smiled widely at me.

"ok let me go change" he started to walk away but i held his arm.

''uh no, you've seen me naked before, so strip." he blushed for a second but then took of his shirt and handed it to me. then he slowly unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them down then tossed those to me. i let my eyes rake over his body. but when i got to...uh little jakey two, my eyes almost popped out of my head. he was huge! but when i realized i had been staring i looked up and cleared my throat. "impressive jakey." he blushed again before phasing. he trotted over to me and dipped down, i climb on and once i was secured he took off. i was giggling the whole way there. it was so much fun! once we got there jake phased backed and i handed him his clothes.

"jakey i want to mess with collin so stay out here, and when he ask me why im so happy come in side, ill leave the door open ok ?" he smiled and nodded. i knocked on the door when jacob was out of sight. collin opened the door a minute later and i jumped on him like i had done jacob this morning and made him stumble back. i giggle and jumped off him and lead him into the livingroom, leaving the door open like i said i would. i made sure collins back was to the door. "good morning baby isnt today wonderful?" he chuckled.

"yes it is. why are you so happy today?" i tried not laugh as i saw jacob creep inside the house

" well..." jacob creeped up behind him.

"that would be me" he said in collins ear, and he flew about 3ft in the air. i got up and gave jake a high five, while we were laughing hysterically. collin collected him self and got up from the couch.

" oh your back jacob?" he asked kinda scared. jacob chuckled and held out his hand. collin just kinda looked at it.

"oh im not going to hit you calm down." collin took his hand and i smiled. then when they let go i grabbed jake's hand again. "i wanted to say sorry about hitting you, i was just angry. but while was gone i figured id rather put up with you to have renesmee in my life." i smacked him on the arm. " ok bad wording but you get the point dont you?" collin smiled and nodded.

" great!" i yelled and grabbed collins hand with my other one. "now who wants to go to the beach?" before they could answer i was already pulling them out the door. we ran to the beach, and when we got there i started skipping and swinging their arms. all they were doing was laughing. then i saw the wolf pack. i skipped towards them. " oh bitches!" i yelled when i got close enough they all turned to look at us and then got up and attacked jake, i never let go of his hand.

"dude your back!" said quil.

"yeah where have you been?" said embry and 21 questions began.

" guys GUYS!" jacob yelled and they all shut up. " calm down i can only answer on question at a time! and for the short version i had some problems, i was pissed so i left. i couldnt be away from nessie and came back. simple. no more questions and thats an order." they all sat down. but embry looked at me hold jake and collins hands.

"so collin you've agreed to a 3 way. kinky." said embry. collin looked surprised and i bust out laughing.

"no you jackass shut up! i am a one man chick " then i turned to seth. "oh sethy" he got up.

"oh no dont start!" i got up too and started chasing him around the beach. i could hear the guys laughing.

"dont run from me sethy i love you!" i teased as we were circling each other. but then all of a sudden i was in somebodies cold arms and they started running. "JACOB! COLLIN! HELP!" i could hear paws thudding behind us but then everything went black. when i woke up i was in a nice looking room i tried to get up but my head was killing me and i laid back down and screamed. i just got my jacob back and they just take me. someone i recognized from my child hood came into the room. aro.

"ah my dear reenesmee you are awake! but why did you scream?" he asked.

" WHY THE HELL DID KIDNAP ME!" he just chuckled.

"i was just taking whats mine." his calmness was really pissing me off.

"im not yours to begin with! is your name tattooed to my ass!" he sat on the bed.

"tsk tsk renesmee such a pretty girl shall not such language. now come along you have alot to do today." i stayed where i was.

'' how long was i knocked out?" i asked angrily.

"about 3 days." he got up and yanked me with him. we walked down a staircase that let to a ballroom filled with vampires. if i was out for 3 days, why the hell didnt anyone come find me? aro handed me off to some man who was hurting my arm by pulling me to a stage like area. he let me go for a minute to get something. he took out a beautifully designed red dress.

"put this on." he threw the dress at me. he was just staring at me.

"um could you leave?" i asked. pervert.

"sorry but no aro told me to watch you.'' i rolled my eyes.

'' could you atleast turn around?" he sighen and turned around. i got dressed quickly. "ok" he turned back around.

"when those blinds open you are to be sitting in that chair," he motioned toward it. "smile and answer anthing they ask you."

"what if i dont want to?" he smirked at me then cupped my chin.

"then you die." he let go and left off the stage, i gulped and sat in the chair. a couple minutes later i heard aro's voice.

"and my dearest hybrid friend renesmee is here with us today." i rolled my eyes and the curtains opened. everyone that was out in the crowded gasped. i smiled like i was supposed to. someone raised their hand. i glared at them .

"yes?" aro said pointing to that person.

"how were you created?" i sighed but smiled again, i hated this question.

"well my mother was human when she was impregnated with me and my father was vampire." they all gasped again. and more stupid quesion came at me. like is your mom alive now or what do i live on and my favorite. how old are you. the rest of the week went exactly like that. aro had me going to every party and after about 6 days of that i was sick of these bastards so i got dressed on stage like i was suppose to and sat in the chair. but when the curtains opened i didnt smile and when somebody asked me a question i just sat there. aro laughed nervously.

"umm we will be right back." he then grabbed my arm and pulled me back and the curtains closed. about 6 of aro's guards came back stage with us.

"renesmee darling what are you doing out there?" aro said softly. i didnt answer him. his grip tightened on my arm " i asked you a question." i still didnt answer. he chuckled softly. "darling im afriad if you dont answer me in the next 5 seconds you will face your horrible fate." i counted down from 5. he released my arm. i knew he was bluffing. "felix would you like our dear renesmee for lunch?" felix smiled and walked over to me. crap. he held me by the neck and i trided to fight him off of me but i couldnt get any air.

"i always like for my food to give a fight." he sunk his teeth into my neck. i couldnt scream or breath. just then felixs was knock of me by a giant russet wolf. jacob. i fell to the ground gasping for breath and screaming. i heard the nasty sound of metal being pulled apart. i felt to warm arms wrap around me.

"renesmee can you hear me?" i looked and saw it was collin. he was crying. my neck is burning like hell! my surroundings were starting to blur. i managed to croak something.

"i love you and everyone else." he shook me. i was slowly slipping away into darkness.

"no dont leave me renesmee! try harder! i need you, your all i have left!" i tried to come back to him but my mind slid into the darkness. in the darkness, i was confused. there were to doors and they both said the same thing 'wake up in a dream' what the hell was that suppose to mean? i was getting frustrated so i just walked in the door to my left. a bright light hit my face but then the darkess hit me again. but i was suddenly aware of my surroundings and i could hear people. where am i?

''she can hear us now." i heard my dad say. "renesmee, your in charlisles study. we got to you and sucked the venom out of your system just before it hit a major blood stream." its so dark in here daddy. he sighed. " i know sweetie so try to wake up." i cant. my body wont move.

'' edward whats going on?" i heard mom ask.

" she's trying honey she said its dark." daddy wheres jacob? "jacob she want you" i heard someone get up, then pick up my hand. now wheres collin? "collin" then he picked up my opposite hand. now i want you to tell them im going to kick their asses for taking so long to find me. daddy laughed.

"what? what did she say?" i heard collin ask.

" she said shes going to kick your asses for taking so long to find her" i heard them chuckle.

"we're sorry! its just that the smell disappeared and we couldnt find it again till alice had a vision." said jacob. i love you guys im going to try and wake up now.

"she said she loves us and is going to try and wake up."

"yes please wake up nessie i need you." i heard collin say. daddy tell them im trying to concentrate

"she concentrating shut the hell up." you know me so well. he laughed. i tried focusing on the light and that seem to work because then i was able to blink my eyes. when i fully opened them i saw the whole family and collin and jacob with relieved expressions.

"thank godness she woke!" i heard alice squeak as she made her way over to me.

"we're not going shopping when i get well!" the whole room laughed and alice pouted. but jacob left the room. i frowned.

"he'll be back nessie" my dad said. sure enough he came back into the room with a glass of water. i smiled at him. i took the glass and drank the whole thing in one gulp.

"thank you." i said handing the glass back to him. daddy can i talk to jacob for a minute. he nodded.

"come on everyone renesmee wants to talk to jacob." everyone filed out the room, collin kissed my head then left.

"whats on your mind nessie?" he said pulling up a chair next to the bed i was on.

"you know i love you right?" he smiled and nodded. "are you really ok with the fact that me and collin and dating?"

"i havent killed him yet have i?" i giggled.

"im being serious jake." he sighed .

"i mean ill never be comfortable with the fact, but i accept it. if thats the path your heart wants to take then i wont stop you. but i will always be there, as the bestfriend until you want me as more." i smiled and kissed him on the lips like i use to. when i pulled away we smiled at each other. "and i love you too nessie."

"good. now can you send collin in here?" he nodded and left out. a few seconds later collin walked in. "hey baby." i said as he sat down in the seat jacob did. he took my hand.

"renesmee i thought you left me." stroked his hand with my thumb.

" well i didnt im right here with you and i always will be here."

" i love you nessie." i smiled.

"i love you too." then i pressed my lips to his.

you know i think my mother said it best. it wasnt a battle between who i wanted or who didnt. because i always knew who i want, even though at some point i wanted someone else. but it was a battle of me trying to bring together jacobs renesmee and collins renesmee into one world. but as i thought i took my last breath, i knew what path my heart wanted. and now i had everything i lost.

i know the little volturi scene is alittle bogus but i was in a rush, if you want me to re-write it review and tell me! next one is the starting of part 3!


	13. Chapter 13

Yay! update! lol this is the beginning of part 3 of my short stories. i am currently working on #8 so there is alot more to come ;) review please!

enjoy!

When we parted collin smiled at me.

"renesmee dont ever scare me like that. i love you so much, i want you forever." i smiled widely.

"i love you too but what if you imprint?" i said kinda sadly. his smile dropped alittle bit.

"lets just hope that doesnt happen. if jacob hadnt of imprinted on you i would run away and stay away from all those chances."

"hey now!" i heard daddy and jacob yell from somewhere. collin looked slightly scared now. i laughed.

"you guys can come back in if you want." i yelled back, but only daddy and jake walked in. "where's everyone else?"

"well besides us and charlisle everyone else went hunting." daddy said. i nodded.

"am i allowed to get up?"

"you can try if you like." i slowly swung my feet over the edge and sat up straight. then i eased off the bed. i stumbled a bit when my feet hit the ground. i was kinda dizzy, but jacob caught me. i smiled up at him and slowly started walking around. i felt good enough. i turned back to them who were watching me with cautious eyes.

"you know, the volturi kinda like ruined my happy streak that day. so anyone up for icecream!" i said cheery. they all laughed at me. daddy came over and kissed me on the head.

'' i think ill pass." he said then walked out.

"ok well anyone up for the beach? we can tell the pack that im ok." they both nodded. i clapped my hands. "great lets go!'' i started to walk downstairs but i didnt hear foot steps behind me. i turned back to them and they were trying not to laugh. "what?"

"look at what your wearing ness. i think the guys would have a heart attack." jacob said. i looked at myself. i was in my same clothes but they had blood all over them.

"right... ill be back." i ran to my room and quickly took a shower and changed into a purple sundress. i went back to charlisle study where jacob and collin were sitting in an ackward silence. i mentally rolled my eyes. "alrighty lets go!" they both got up and i grabbed both of their hands and dragged them downstairs and out to my car. while we were driving there was still and odd tension between jacob and collin, so i spoke up.

"whats up with all the silence?" neither one of them said anything. "jacob? collin? did you hear me?" silence. ok i can do that too. "ok fine." it was silent the whole i pulled into the beach, i got out and headed towards the shore without waiting for them. and luckily enough the pack was at the beach. i skipped over to them and yelled, "bitches!" they all turned to me. their eyes looked relieved. seth came over and scooped me up in a hug twirling me around. i giggled.

"im so sorry nessie, i should have been watching you better." he said putting me down, but i held on to his arm because he made me dizzy.

"its all ok sethy im in top condition." he smiled briefly at me before dropping my hand and sitting back down. i saw collin and jacob sit down on opposite sides of the circle the pack was forming. i plopped down in quils lap and he smiled at me.

"hey nessie." i smiled back.

"hey quily hows claire?" his face lit up at the mention of his imprint, but he chuckled at the nickname.

"she great. she'll be starting preschool soon." he said proudly. "and quily? whats with you and 'y'?" i giggled and shrugged.

" its just cute." paul scoffed

"cute my ass." i smiled at him.

"its ok dont be jealous, you have one to pauly.'' he rolled his eyes and some of the guys chuckled. we all talked, me jacob and collin still ignoring each other. and when it got dark i hugged quil and hopped off his lap to hug the other wolves. then i walked to the car by myself. but i wasnt mean enough to just drive off so i waited. jacob got to the car first and collin came soon after. i turned around in my seat to face them both.

"ok i dont know what the hell is going on with you to but you damn sure aint about to take it out on me. so if one of you dont talk right now im not talking to either one of you." they both stayed silent. i was sick of it. "both of you get the hell out my car." they turned to me kinda shocked.

"wait nes-" collin tried talking, but i cut him off.

"oh now you can talk cause im bout to kick you out my car? and you think your forgiven? HA! get out. both of you. now." both of their faces looked pained but they got out of the car. as soon as their doors were closed i sped out of the parking lot. they are honestly that stubborn to sit there and ignore me? just cause they have problems? and didnt jacob tell me he was ok with us? instead of going home i went to the main house. when i walked in everyon looked happy to see me.

"hello renesmee what brings you here?" grandma esme said coming over to hug me. when we seperated i smiled at her.

"just thought id come see you guys its been awhile." emmett came over and scooped me up in a tight bear hug.

"good to see ya kiddo."

"uncle em...cant...breathe." he laughed and put me down.

"so how long are you staying? i got a brand new video game for xbox." i smiled.

"actually i just came over to say hi, im going back to the cottage to sleep." he pouted. "ill come kick your butt in the game tommorrow though." he smiled again.

"your on." i said goodbye to everyone and ran back to the cottage. when i got there i went straight to my bedroom. and no surprise jacob was on my face was similar to what he looked like the night he came back. not as intense but similar in some ways. i ignored him and walked over to my closet to change in my pajamas. when i came back out, i couldnt really be mad at him, he needed me to much.

"everytime i leave you somewhere you always come back. like a boomarang." i said walking towards him. his eyes lit up when he heard me joking with him. i sat on his lap and hugged him around the neck. he sighed contently and wrapped his arms around me tight. "jakey i dont want to fight with you, i just got you back! so please just talk to me." he was silent for a minute.

"well when we were waiting for you, i just told him that you might dump him for me because he's just a kid. i told him he was a coward and needed to step up his game if he wanted a girl like you to stay with him. then he got all defensive." i laughed but punched his arm. i pulled away from him.

"you guys are some real dumbasses. but why would you even say that to him? me and him are doing perfectly fine, he doesnt need and tips from you. and if you guys ever ignore me over something as stupid as that little conversation your ass is mine." he chuckled.

"ok but id like to keep my ass." i giggled. we just sat there looking into each others eyes and with every growing second it seem to grow more and more passion. before i knew it my lips were connected to his. his lips felt so wrong but right at the same time. he ran his tongue across my bottom lip asking for permission and i hesitantly let him in. i moved my hand so that they were raking across his back, he groaned. then his hands were moving from my sides to my lower back. i knew i had to stop this. i pushed him away.

"jake no im with collin we cant do this."he sighed, but nodded his head. i got off his lap and laid on my bed. he laid next me and i clung to him. i didnt really feel guilty about what just happened, for some reason. "i love you jake." he kissed my head.

"i love you too ness.'' and with that i started to drift off. i woke up the next morning, and jacob was still asleep. i got up did my morning routine and got dressed. when i sat on my bed and checked my phone i had 3 text messages from collin. the first one read. _renesmee im sorry i ignored you please talk to me. _second one. _im so sorry, i shouldnt have taken my frustration out on you. call me please? _third one. _nessie please dont be mad at me i need you. please talk to me. _i felt like a horrible person, he's probaly so upset with himself. i felt jacob start to stir, then he sat up slowly and turned to me.

"morning hun." i said he smiled.

"morning ness, whats on the agenda for today." i sighed.

"actually i need to go talk to collin for alittle while, alone.'' his smile dropped alittle, but he nodded.

"oh. well could you drop me off at my house? i need to say hi to billy." i smiled and pecked his lips.

"ok, thank you for understanding." he stood up, and reached under my bed for some clean clothes. then headed for the bathroom. i decided i would call collin. he answered on the 3rd ring.

"hello?" he sounded kinda groggy. i must of put him through hell.

"hey collin."

"nessie? nessie im so sorry about yesterday please dont hate me!" he sounded really frantic.

"collin baby calm down im not mad at you. jacob told me what happened." he sighed in relief.

"can you come over today?" i grinned.

"of course ill see you in a few."

"ok bye nessie" i hung up and waited for jacob. after a few i saw him come out the bathroom with shorts on, but his chest and hair still wet.

"jesus jacob are you trying to give me one of those slow motion wet dream fantasies?" he laughed.

"why is it working?" he asked. i smiled and got up.

"just might be." i walked past him and out the door. i heard him trailing behind me as i walked out to the car. we got in and drove to his and billy's place in silence. once we got there i kissed him on the lips, but seperated before it turned heated like yesterday.

"ill see you later nessie." he said opening his car door.

"ok ill pick you up later and we can do something." he smiled and got out. once he was in the house i drove off to collins house and to no surprise when i got ther his moms car was gone. i was excited to see collin, even after just one night. i got out of the car and walked to his door. i knocked and within 5 seconds collin opened the door.

"renesmee!" he exclaimed and hugged me. i giggled.

"baby im sorry i acted like i did, just dont ignore me over something that jacob said. he's a jackass when he wants to be." collin chuckled and seperated from me, but grabbed my hand and dragged me to the couch. once he sat down i sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. he looked slightly shocked but wrapped his around my waist.

"no dont apologize. its my fault for taking it out on you." i kissed his nose.

"ok its your fault." we shared a small laugh.

"i love you renesmee, and i missed you last night and this morning." i giggled.

"i missed you too. and i love you so much. you wanna know what else i missed?"

"what?" i leaned forward and whispered.

"your lips." i pressed mines to his softly. i tried to pull back but he held me there. i was surprised but turned on by his assertivness. i ran my tongue across his bottom lip, hoping he knew what that meant. he did. once his mouth was open i shot my tongue inside and it danced with his. i felt his hands started to do that circuit, and i moaned into his mouth. i moved my hands so that they were tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. what he did next was a bold move, and frankly it shocked the hell out of me. he moved his hands so that they were rested over my butt. i gasped and he pulled back.

"nessie im sorry i just got-" i put my finger to his mouth.

"no that feels great leave them there, explore me collin." i pressed my lips back to his, taking my own advice and explored his body. i untangled my fingers from his hair and ran them down his chest, scraping his nipples again. he gave my ass a squeeze and groaned softly. i arched my back. it felt like heat was radiating around my body but stopping to pool in between my legs. to relieve to new found tension down there i started to grind myself on collins lap. i felt his erection growing and we both groaned at the sensation. he pulled away from the kiss but kissed down the length of my jaw and neck, stopping to nip at the sensitive skin under my ear. i moaned loudly and his hips bucked up against me causing me to do it again.

"oh...yes collin.." i trailed off. all the different sensations felt so good. while he was doing that i trace his abs with my finger, he shivered. then all of a sudden he stopped. i leaned back to looked at him confused.

"we have to stop or else i wont." he whispered.

"then dont stop baby." he sighed.

"i have to nessie. i-im not ready to have sex yet." i sighed to and went to get off his lap but he held my down. ''is there anything i can do to help you?" i shook my head.

"unless you can give me an orgasm then no." he blushed at my choice of words.

"im sorry ness." i smiled.

"dont be, im happy with just you. my sextual need doesnt matter. much." he chuckled. i rest my head in the crook of his neck and kissed it. " i love you." he rubbed my back.

"i love you to ness." we sat like that for awhile, and i think we went to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

SEMI-LEMON ALERT! PLEASE REVIEW!

Chapter 14

when i woke up it was just about dark outside. i sat up, i was still on collins lap. i moved his arms carefully off me and got up, but he jolted awake.

"sorry hun go back to sleep." he rubbed his eyes.

"ness where are you going?"

"its getting dark i gotta go pick up jacob." he nodded and sprawled out over the couch.

"m`kay love you." he said groggily. i smiled.

"love you too." with that, i walked out to my car and drove off towards jakes house. once i got there i knocked on the door. billy answered the door.

"renesmee! its good to see you!" i smiled and bent down to hug him.

"i know! its been to long, its good to see you. hey could you tell jake im here?" he looked at me sideways.

"he told me you already came to pick him up." i was confused.

"no, i was at collins place all day. he must of ran to my house." billy nodded.

"i dont know why he would lie to me. but anyways, come by more often. miss your face around here." i smiled again.

"ok billy ill see you later." he waved and i got back in the car and drove over to the cottage. once i got to the house, there was a note on the door: _went over to the main house. wont be back till late. love mom and dad. _i crumpled up the note and walked into the house. i could smell jake so he must be asleep. as i was walking upstairs i heard grunting and heavy breathing. i peaked through my door that was half way closed and gaped at what i saw. it was jacob on my bed, _touching _himself. i watched as his hand moved up and down his glistening shaft. i could feel that heat pooling in between my legs again.

"renesmee..." he grunted. i gasped. he was thinking about me? he shot up and looked towards the door. feeling guilty i walked in. i could see him blush a vivid red. "nessie, how long have you been standing there?"

"i-i um i just got here and i heard you in my room." he was now covering him self up.

"im so sorry it just i-" i put my hand up.

"its ok." he looked at me sideways.

"its ok? you dont care that i was doing _that_?" i shook my head. and sat down next to him. i looked down, embarrased by what i was about to say.

"no we gotta do what we gotta do to get some right?" he chuckled. "to be honest i was actually going to do the same thing when i got home. im like in desprate need." i said quietly. jake stayed silent too. "umm jake would you let me... help you out?" i looked up. he was gaping at me.

"w-what? what about collin? i couldnt let you do that renesmee."

" i-i want to... i mean i heard you... moan my name. so just let me help." i said blushing. "and im not trying to cheat on collin, i love him. but there's something he cant give me, to a full extent. so why cant we just pleasure each other with out actually having sex?." we stayed in an ackward silence. i just got up and sat on his lap not caring that he was naked and kissed him. he was surprised at first but then got into it. i bit his bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth. he groaned and slipped his tongue into my mouth. i released his lip, and our tongues tangled. i parted and put my hand at the hem of my shirt, but he grabbed my wrist.

"are you sure about this nessie?" i nodded. he slowly released my wrist and i tooked my shirt off throwing it some where. jacobs eyes were pasted to my chest. i smiled and liffted his chin.

"eyes up you perv." he chuckled. then his tongue was on my neck hitting that sensitive part of my neck. i moaned softly. i felt his hands go up my back and unclasp my bra, then taking it off. i gasped as i felt him gently grab them in his hands, kneading them.i hissed in pleasure. without breaking his mouth on my neck, he flipped us over so i was laying flat on my back. he pinched my nipples, and started rolling them in between his fingers. i moaned and arched into his hand.

"jake..." i whispered my breathing coming in short now. he lifted his face up.

"tell me what you want." he squeezed down harder on my nipples and i hissed,

"i want your lips on me" i was too embarrassed to say where.

"where?" i whined.

"stop teasing you know where." he chuckled and took my nipple into his mouth. i arched higher. "oh jacob!" i exclaimed. he licked and nipped at it making me wetter by the minute. he did the same thing to the other one. then he kissed down my stomach stopping at my hips. he hooked his fingers in my panties asking for permission. i nodded, and lifted my hips off the bed so he could ease them down. once they were discarded, he spread my legs open.

"oh god you smell so good." jacob whispered. i blushed knowing he was talking about my arousal. i felt him run a finger up my opening and i bucked my hips and moaned loudly. "are you this wet for me?" i nodded, my breathing now slightly laboured. he rubbed his finger at a slow pace over my opening and it felt so good. then he ran it up so it was rubbing my clit.

"oh yes jacob!" i half yelled.

''tell me how good it feels." he whispered, putting more pressure and moving his finger faster. i moaned loudly again and moved my hips with his fingers.

"it feels so good jake... oh gosh.." i whimpered. he took his finger away.

"nessie im going to put 2 fingers inside of you, tell me to stop if you want ok? i know your a virgin so this might hurt alittle bit" i nodded. then i felt a slight pain as he pushed his fingers in slowly. i closed my eyes tight. and he waited for me to tell him to move his fingers.

"ok you can move now." i said after a minute. he started to pull them out, then pushed them back in. after he did that for awhile pain was substituted for pleasure. "faster jake." i whispered and he obliged and went faster. i started to grind myself to the rhythm his fingers made. he hit a spot in me and i moaned so loud it sound like a scream.

"oh fuck yes j-jake! right there!" he went even faster and i felt my climax coming. to push me over the edge he licked and sucked on my clit. i was writhing as my climax washed over me. jacob slowed down his movements and took his fingers out. i was floating down from my high. i saw jacob licking my cum off of his fingers and that made me horny all over. once i caught my breath and my heart rate slowed i sat up on my elbows.

"arent you a virgin jacob?" he nodded. "well damn that felt so good." he blushed.

"i just kinda went with what your body reacted to." i crawled towards him and pushed him down on the bed and kissed his lips.

"its your turn now" i whispered and licked his ear. he shivered. i move back so i was kissing down his throat and chest. i stopped to lick his nipples earning a groan. i kept licking and kissing until i reached his shaft. i did what i saw jacob doing and gently grabbed it in my hand. i made sure i was paying attention to how jacob reacted.i slowly started to stroke it, up and down. he groaned softly. i gave it a squeeze and he hissed. "you like that jacob?" his eyes were closed and he just nodded. i flicked my tongue over the tip of his shaft and he moaned. then i closed my mouth around it still pumping up and down. jacobs breathing was now coming out in pants. i started moving my hand faster and bobbing my head up and down.

"fuck... renesmee that feels so good." he grunted. i gently scraped my teeth and he groaned. i felt his hips buck forward. " babe can you go faster?" he panted. i moved my hand and head even faster. i sucked alittle harder and gripped tighter. "ahhh fuck yeah.." i used my other hand and gave his balls a squeeze. he moaned loudly and began to shudder. "oh im not going to last much longer nessie" he tried pulling out of my mouth but i shook my head and pumped my hand faster. his back arched off the bed alittle bit. "im about to cum! ah yes!" i hummed and that seemed to send him over the edge. he shuddered and his hips bucked. "fuck yes renesmee!" he yelled and he released in the back of my throat. i stopped stroking with my hand and let him out of my mouth.

"where the hell did you learn to do that?" jacob asked in awe. i giggled.

"i didnt. like you said i just kinda went with the flow." his breathing slowed and i crawled up and got under the sheets, so did he. i curled up to his chest.

"well that was fan-fucking-tastic." i smiled. "i love you nessie, even if you are going back to collin tommorrow." i sighed.

"jacob i love him, i cant just leave. its just he gets me so fucking horny then stops. i really needed this tonight, to just relieve some of that tension." now he sighed.

"ok i understand." i smiled again.

"oh and i love you too jakey."

"you better." i giggled and slowly drifted off to sleep. when i woke up the next morning i felt really guilty about what i did last night. so i got out of bed through on some sweat pants and a tshirt and very quiet went outside and drove to la push. while i was driving i realized it was kinda early, but i had to tell collin what i did. i took a deep breath as i reached his house,got out and knocked on the door. it took awhile for somebody to answer the door,and when they did it was collin.

"renesmee? what are you doing here this early? is everything alright?" i sighed and walked over to the couch. he closed the door , came over and sat down taking my hands in his.

"no everything is not ok collin." he looked at me waiting for me to finish.

"come on nessie i know its not that bad just talk to me." i took a deep breath.

"collin i... i had sex with jacob last night." his face went from hurt to mad and then to blank. "well not sex... we just pleasured each other." he stayed silent.

"you let him touch you like that?" he said his body shaking slightly. "nessie i trusted you. y-you cheated on me with him" his voice was no higher than a whisper.

" Baby calm down and please, you can still trust me i-"

"how do you expect me to trust you if you go do something like that? i thought you said you would wait for me? or is everything you said to me a lie?" he said raising his voice. i started tearing up.

"collin please i didnt cheat on you! i just needed some relief and well... i caught jacob on my bed 'touching' himself and i needed some of that. please please dont hate me, everything i ever told you was the utter truth." we were silent for a long time.

"renesmee i cant be with you anymore." he said sad but angrily. a few tears spilled over.

"what? collin no please! i cant live without you! im so sorry about what i did, i was just so caught up with lust. i-i wasnt thinking right. please give me another chance."

"people wonder why i was the way i was before i met you. i cant trust anyone anymore. you were the one person i thought actually loved me. but i guess i was wrong." i was about to go into fits of crying. if i wasnt sitting down i wouldve dropped to my knees.

"no baby, i do love you! i love you so much thats why you cant leave me! dont do this im sorry, im so so sorry!"

"no renesmee im sorry i couldnt give you what jacob can. could you leave please? " he got up and left the room. i sat there and sobbed until i had enough strength to get up and go to my car. once i was in the drivers seat, i took a deep breath. once my crying was under control i drove home. when i got there my parents were sittinng on the couch. when they saw me they got up.

"renesmee whats wrong?" mom asked. i moved around them and began walking upstairs.

"nothing." i replied. i walked in my room and saw jacob watching t.v.

"hey nessie. where'd you go this morning?" hearing his voice made me feel all more guiltier, so i dropped to my knees and started crying. "renesmee!" jacob exclaimed and ran over, enveloping me in his arms. i leaned into him crying harder. "nessie honey what happened?"

"h-he left m-me." i said crying impossibly harder. he grabbed me tighter,.

"shhh nessie it'll be ok. just give him some time, he'll forgive you." i shook my head.

"i-i c-cheated on him! i-its not o-ok! i n-need him jacob..." i trailed off and a large sob rocked through my body.

"please just calm down nessie. he'll come around, i promise you." i stayed quiet and just cried, soaking his shirt. after what seems like forever i stopped crying and got up. he followed behind me as i got in bed. he laid next to me and i curled up to him. i stayed in bed most of the day and jacob just held me. at night, as i fell asleep i felt empty. when i woke up the next morning, jacob was looking at me waiting for it to start again. i sat up.

"im not going to cry jake. hopefully." my voice was hoarse, so i cleared it and tried again. "could you get me some water please?" he nodded, got up and walked downstairs. i clutched my knees to my chest. it felt like my heart was beating a painful rhythm. jacob came back in and sat at my feet, handing me the water. i tried to smile at him. "thank you." i said then downed the whole glass. jacob started to stroke my hair.

"are you ok?i mean better atleast?." i sighed and tried to smile again.

"the world must go on, and so do i." he nodded. we stayed silent for a minute. "do you want to go out today? like down to the beach or something?" jacob looked skeptical.

"are you sure? you dont just want to stay in the house for a couple of days." i shook my head.

"i dont want to be like those people who are always so clinically depressed after a break up, but i guess i will stay in the house for a couple days, but after that im going out to have some fun."

"ok nessie whatever makes you feel better." i kissed his nose. and what was suppose to be a couple days turned into a month because with each growing day i missed collin more and more. but i was healing.


End file.
